Away Day Diary: Enfield Town 0-0 Maidenhead United (16/08/25)

Even though, as recently as April, I was claiming there'd be no more 'bog-standard' (i.e. non-Fancy Dresslemania) Away Day Diaries, here I am – the day before flying to Crete on holiday – prattling on about our very first away game since returning to the regionalised wastelands! (How about new grounds only, including FA Cup and Trophy matches? Deal!)

Not until after I'd messaged Macleod (M), Fuzz and Stuart on Monday with train times and a pub crawl route did the wife remind me of a pre-holiday appointment that (1) she'd booked in May, (2) she couldn't rearrange, and (3) I'd apparently known about; my dad couldn't look after the kids, as he was away camping in Cromer, so Plan B was for me to give Macleod (M) a lift after she'd finished

Fifty-eight minutes after leaving home, we'd parked up on a residential street somewhere near the centre of the triangle formed by the three pubs I'd earmarked for pre-match; topics of conversation on the journey along the remarkably clear M25 included a three-day juice cleanse, inadvertent Audio Description on Craig's TV, and the L.A.V. at Botany Bay (#IYKYK)

Into the first pub – the Wonder, decent boozer this one and the best of the bunch – just before midday, soon joined by Fuzz and then Stuart; Rivertown's Reed proved popular as we endured a Landfill Indie soundtrack, discussing not-Landfill-Indie bands like Butthole Surfers while Fuzz proudly sported a newly-purchased Gibby Haynes tour t-shirt from his gig on Friday night at the Islington Assembly Hall

Efficient use of outside space at pub #2, which happened to be the local Wetherspoons; former Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd's name cropped up as someone who is still alive despite the fact you could've sworn they'd passed away several years ago, a reminder that sometimes our memories are more unreliable than we'd like to think!

Last of the pre-match watering holes was the Jolly Butchers, where Jerry, Chris Rad. and Calum had been watching the Villa-Newcastle game on TV; Fuzz pointed out that the headband-clad Anthony Gordon looked like Vitas Gerulaitis, who won the men's singles title at the Australian Open in 1977 and is responsible for one of the greatest sporting quotes of all-time

Donkey Lane's car park – sandwiched between the ground and public playing fields – was sizeable and free, which was a pleasant surprise but also a stark reminder that we're not in the National League anymore; after photos outside the art deco-style pavilion, we paid the £16 admission fees and made our belated entry into the re-purposed athletics stadium, complete with long jump pits covered by tarpaulins

The red-shirted Magpies dominated proceedings, as I munched on a tasty chicken souvlaki wrap, and should've been ahead at the interval: Sam Barratt hit the bar with a lob (pulling a hamstring in the process), the generally dreadful referee inexplicably failed to award us a penalty for a clear handball, and Josh Umerah had a one-on-one chance saved after a quick-thinking through ball from the industrious Asher Yearwood

Our hosts – who, TBF, have made the best of their surroundings – seemed to approach the game as if they'd be delighted with a point, and that's what they got; the visitors from Berkshire huffed and puffed, controlling most of the play after the break but failing to force a meaningful save from the opposition keeper, with skipper Will De Havilland heading a glorious chance over the bar in the 92nd minute

Worrying times, in truth, as our playing budget likely dwarfs that of supporter-owned Enfield Town, so a goalless draw here, on the back of last week's similarly disappointing home defeat to Chesham United, isn't good enough (no disrespect to those teams); the mood among the travelling fans – stood on the rooftop terrace after the final whistle, including Ryan D. in limited edition Adidas 'Sulley' trainers – was one of mounting frustration and disillusionment with an amateurishly-run football club that continues to squander money

No traffic on the return journey meant we were home by 8pm, which was a silver lining; my next game will probably be Dover away at the end of the month, and it's a sad indictment that I'm not at all confident we'll pick up many points from the three matches before then – hey ho, yamas!

(MUFC report; match highlights)

all to see a 0-0 at enfield with maidenhead i’m gonna kms

— jimbo slice (@payroll_carti) August 17, 2025

Promotion in 99/00 ~ 25th anniversary

When asked for a contribution to mark the 25th anniversary of the Magpies' promotion to the Isthmian Premier Division, my thought was to chronicle what happened afterwards to some of the players involved. So, 25 years to the day since our promotion-sealing win over champions Croydon at York Road, here's Parts One and Two of an alphabetical roundup of those who made double-figure starts during that memorable campaign (as featured in the match-day programmes vs Braintree Town and Sutton United on 4th March 2025 and 8th March 2025, respectively).

Chuk Agudosi (99/00 stats: 45 starts, 25 goals)

75 goals in 152 starts made Chuk a real fans' favourite. As such, there was understandable disappointment – not necessarily that he left York Road, more so that he moved to a club in the same division (rather than higher up). A bag of chocolate gold coins was memorably brandished by Murdo when we next visited the Croydon Sports Arena! Chuk subsequently played for Windsor & Eton. He works as an independent estate agent in Tooting.

Michael Beaton (12)

Defender, born in 1978, signed for Dulwich Hamlet in March 2002 after making 23 starts for the Magpies.

Steve Brown (16, 2)

In the season after promotion, fans' favourite 'Huggy' made the last of his 172 starts and scored the last of his 17 goals from midfield. Can (or could) be spotted, as he once was by a jet-setting Murdo, working as a baggage handler at Heathrow.

Lee Channell (27, 6)

Much and perhaps unfairly maligned (at least by me), 'Porno' bagged 19 goals in each of the two seasons following promotion – 48 in total for the Magpies from 124 starts – and later moved with Alan Devonshire to Hampton. He works as a cargo agent at Heathrow.

Brian Connor (57, 1)

Magpies Hall of Famer who should need no introduction. Currently 7th in the all-time appearance list with 368 starts. Brian signed for Hampton in the summer of 2005 after his testimonial match at York Road and later rejoined Slough Town, his hometown club. He debuted for Anguilla, aged 38, in a February 2008 World Cup qualification match against El Salvador.

Tim Cook (55, 5)

Another Magpies Hall of Famer who should need no introduction. Currently 8th in the all-time appearance list with 367 starts. 'Cookie' moved to Chesham United in February 2002 and was on the losing side against the Magpies in that year's County Cup Final at Adams Park. Later played for and managed Marlow.

Billy Cove (26, 10)

Early in the following season, after five starts and one goal, Billy was sold to Ford United and later played for Enfield Town. I took a photo of him and Murdo during half-time of our game at East Thurrock United in November 2016. He has managed several non-league sides, most recently Basildon United.

Mickey Creighton (12, 10)

Cult hero 'Vialli' left York Road in 2000, making only two starts in the season after promotion and not adding to his tally of 78 goals for the Magpies. An occasional spectator at Maidenhead games since, including Fancy Dress – he was piggybacking a leprechaun at Margate in 2017 and, memorably, went as Shrek to Grimsby in 2022. Still involved in local football at a Sunday League level.

Top, left: Me and Brian Connor, April 2024

Top, right: Murdo and Billy Cove, November 2016

Bottom: Mickey Creighton piggybacking a leprechaun en route to Margate in 2017

Steve Croxford (41, 7)

Local lad 'Crocko' made 206 starts for the Magpies across three spells and later played for and managed Marlow. An occasional spectator at Maidenhead games, I took a photo of him and Murdo during our 6-0 defeat to Fylde at York Road in October 2018. As of 2024, he was chairman of Maidenhead Boys and Girls FC.

Chris Ferdinand (52, 7)

Famously the scorer of our promotion-sealing goal, 'Ferdy' signed for Slough Town in the summer of 2002 after 129 starts in black and white stripes. He later played for Burnham and Reading Town (the latter alongside his son, Liam, in 2014). Murdo has refereed him, more recently, playing walking football at Pangbourne and for Singh Sabha Slough in the Sunday League.

Tom Hickey (41)

Tigerish Irishman who left York Road in May 2002 after 101 starts and one goal (in a 2-0 win at Croydon in September 2000; 109 people saw it). Not to be confused with an identically-named player – another midfielder – who signed for Wealdstone from Hampton in 2014.

Tyrone Houston (14)

The right wing-back made only one start – his 212th for MUFC – early in the season after promotion and re-signed for Slough Town, his hometown club. Ty is another former Magpie recently officiated by Murdo – playing walking football for Hurst. He works as an aircraft engineer.

Gareth Ormshaw (50)

Regarded by some as the best Maidenhead United goalkeeper of recent vintage, Ormshaw was on loan at York Road from Crystal Palace. He returned to his native South Africa to play in the top flight for Ajax Cape Town, Hellenic, Silver Stars, and Lamontville Golden Arrows.

Barry Rake (55, 5)

After 113 starts and 11 goals, the legendary midfielder rejoined Slough Town, his hometown club, for a short-lived third spell in May 2002. He has since returned to York Road to play in exhibition games, most recently appearing in the charity match raising money for CALM in April 2024.

Obinna Ulasi (52, 1)

Currently 10th in the all-time appearance list, Obi followed Alan Devonshire to Hampton in the summer of 2003 after 306 starts and 20 goals for the Magpies. He attended our first-ever National League win as we beat Hartlepool at York Road in August 2017. One of his sons, Joe, has appeared for the MUFC Academy.

Craig Webster (52, 2)

After graduating from the MUFC youth team to make 103 starts and score four goals for the first XI, the right wing-back followed Alan Devonshire to Hampton in the summer of 2003. Craig, blighted by injuries throughout his playing career, now lives in Milton Keynes. He appeared in the CALM charity match at York Road in April 2024.

Top, left: Murdo and Steve Croxford, October 2018

Top, right: Mickey Creighton and Obinna Ulasi, August 2017

Bottom: Messrs Gore, Connor, Ferdinand, Creighton, Devonshire, Rake, and Webster in April 2024

Away Day Diary: Ebbsfleet United 0-2 Maidenhead United (26/04/25)

 Fancy Dresslemania XXIII

Ever since the opening day of 2010/11, when the Macleods and I were ejected from their home end (there was no 'home end') on trumped-up charges of foul and abusive language (I didn't swear or abuse anyone) and threatening behaviour (i.e. standing up), leading to unjust bans from York Road, I've had a strong dislike of the football-club-formerly-known-as-Gravesend-and-Northfleet, so I was especially pleased when we pipped them to the Conference South title in 2016/17 and then stayed up at their expense – by a guffaw-inducing margin of 0.094 points per game – when the pandemic curtailed the 2019/20 season; I hadn't been back (missing Sean Marks' hat-trick of headers, as referenced on 'Two for Joy'), despite insisting to Craig that it wasn't an official boycott, and always suspected it would take Fancy Dresslemania (the 23rd instalment, as it happens) to entice me to return ... although I could have done without the nightmarish prospect of them relegating us, which would naturally delight their numpty wrong-ender fans (and, TBH, finally put our sorry season out of its misery)

Before anyone had heard of COVID-19, there was a pub near Swanscombe station that Macleod (M) and Craig had enjoyed, but it seemingly closed in 2019, so our plan was for the travelling horde to congregate at Barrel Vault – the Wetherspoons at St Pancras station – and that's what many of us did, with the following list of characters on the 10:26 GWR train from Maidenhead: Napoleon Dynamite, Pingu, the Fourth Doctor, the Grim Reaper, Freddie Mercury, a reverend, a Pink Lady, Michael van Gerwen, Nessa Jenkins, Heisenberg, and Steve H. dressed as an Aston Villa fan (on his way to their FA Cup semi-final at Wembley)

Better than expected, the pub (in keeping with the day in general): Titanic's Plum Porter went down a treat (as always), and we were able to sit outside with other groups in fancy dress (hen parties, etc.) and an increasing number of MUFC fans (including several orange dinosaurs, and Phil W. dressed – somewhat disturbingly – as a baby)

Some boos from the away terrace greeted the referee's whistle for half-time, as (1) relegation rival Dagenham & Redbridge was coasting to victory against Altrincham, and (2) Ebbsfleet had been the better least worst side in our game (TLF passing the ball to an advertising hoarding, under no pressure, summed things up); Pingu had earlier argued with Josh Banana about Reece Smith's Player of the Year credentials (Smith should be the clear winner, IMO) and, while I was drinking with Ryan Dino-Rider in the bar, everyone's favourite penguin also verbally clashed with another fan whom he thought had called for the introduction of Tobi Sho-Silva (the Grim Reaper had to intervene: "He said 'Tris' not 'TSS'")

Fortunately, the on-field performance and the off-field mood improved soon after the restart, with Brendan Kiernan playing in Shawn McCoulsky to open the scoring with his 13th league goal of the season (I missed it, supping cider) and, after Sam Howes had expertly tipped a shot onto the crossbar, McCoulsky then teed up Kiernan's fifth goal in six starts; it was now party time for the 162 away fans, with the Youth instigating a fancy dress conga for – I think – the first time since promotion to the National League (as substitutes Joshua Johnson and Tristan Abrahams both went close to increasing our lead)

Lokko, Kevin – still recuperating from February's fractured ankle – said his goodbyes as we passed him in the football ground car park on our way to catch the soonest train possible back to St Pancras; more beers in the same seats as before, outside the Barrel Vault, as news filtered through that our other relegation rival was losing/ had lost at Southend in the late kick-off

Eight years in the National, each season is our last goes the song, but this really will be our last if not for an improbable set of results on the Early May Bank Holiday; kudos to the players and management team for not giving up, but the fact it'll probably be a case of 'close but no cigar' only adds to my sense of frustration – yes, we've been punching admirably above our weight as a part-time club in the National League, and yes, there are some legitimate excuses (injuries, Boston's stupendous form under Graham Coughlan, questionable refereeing decisions that haven't evened themselves out over the season, etc.), but, despite the substandard recruitment last summer and in January, I think there are at least four teams that we coulda/ woulda/ shoulda finished above

Eubank vs Benn on TV in Stripes for the 'Middle Youth' (a phrase nicked from Wealdstone) before they joined us in the Portland Arms; Napoleon danced to Canned Heat by Jamiroquai, and a Robbie Williams super fan – Ryan Dino-Rider – led the pub in a rousing version of Angels ("I'm loving Maid'n'ead instead")

The Farm's All Together Now also got the karaoke treatment, as usual, in tribute to the much-missed Scouse Mick (who was a fine fancy dresser), but it is a line from another song performed by Pingu – James' Sit Down – that resonates most strongly as National League relegation looms large for the Magpies: If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor

(BBC report; match highlights; more Fancy Dresslemania links)

64' | A much more relaxed atmosphere in the away end at Stonebridge Road where someone dressed as Michael van Gerwen is leading a conga around the open terrace.

🔴 0-2 🖤🤍

— Maidenhead United (@MUFCYorkRoad) April 26, 2025

Away Day Diary: Wealdstone 1-1 Maidenhead United (21/04/25)

Welp! Only a point vs Woking on Good Friday, after the Magpies had thrown away a two-goal lead at (opposite-of-fortress) York Road, as I sat watching Soccer (not) Saturday in a sun-drenched but chilly Mersea Island, meant the situation was relatively simple: three wins from three or back to the regionalised wastelands, starting with a game against our old friends at Wealdstone (in a similar-but-not-quite-as-perilous position as us) #fanfreundschaft

Enfield Town's art deco stadium, a youthful group of Basingstoke Town fans in fancy dress getting told off by a policeman on the train to M@rl*w at Maidenhead station, a chance meeting with Taribo West, and a "fantasy-inspired" cocktail bar in Brighton were topics of conversation on the outward journey to Ruislip via the Metropolitan line from Baker Street; Grim and Jon were in situ as we arrived shortly after midday at the excellent Hop & Vine (Macleod [M] and I had visited previously, but only for a quick drink before a midweek FA Cup replay in 2019), and we were subsequently joined by Fuzz, Don and Lee, Beanie, Hillsy, more than one Mike, the Sparkes family, and a whole host of other home *and* away fans

American Tourists Go For Breakfast (a sketch from Harry & Paul), King Rocker (The Nightingales documentary featuring Ted Chippington), StonesAid III, and, of course, the struggles of our respective teams were discussion points as we supped ales from England (Kent Brewery), Wales (Gower Brewery), and Scotland (Vault City's Lil'Tropic – tasting, as it did, like an alcoholic Lilt – was especially popular with the away contingent); there was, as Grim and I remarked, a funereal feel to proceedings – I got the sense that the home supporters were more nervous than we were, although it was MUFC facing the prospect of relegation on the day – but, regardless, it was good to catch up with the Stones lot and the pre-match beers were a highlight

Less than five minutes gone, and the Magpies were ahead thanks to Brendan Kiernan's fourth goal on his fifth start; the travelling horde was in decent voice as those wearing black and white stripes had the upper hand in the first half, but Reece Smith spurned a simple chance, Shawn McCoulsky fired wide, and to compound matters, failure to defend balls into our box (again) allowed Wealdstone to level before the break with a scrappy equaliser seemingly out of nowhere

Dev made a series of attacking subs as both sides laboured after half-time, but, in truth, we looked increasingly despairing and disjointed; at one stage, Alan Massey – on for Will De Havilland (another Magpies injury in a season blighted by them; I counted nine non-participating MUFC players on the pitch for Dev's post-match debrief) – was overlapping down our left side! ("If Massey scores, we're on the pitch!")

Sam Barratt cares about the club – you could see that from his opening goal celebration at Halifax – but, sadly, he had one of the worst cameos in recent memory, mis-controlling the ball out of play, misplacing passes, overhitting corners, etc.; their keeper – another whose distribution is better than ours – ultimately didn't have a save to make in the second 45-minute period of, let's not forget, a game that we desperately needed to win #whimper

The End by The Doors had, ominously, been stuck in my head all day; aptly, there's a boutique with the same name as the song on Ruislip High Street – we posed for photos with its signage on the way back to the wake at the Hop & Vine, following post-match discussions with De Havilland, Alan Dev, and Casey Pettit's Dad

Our time in the National League is, per the aforementioned song, coming to an end (with collective resignation that the money spent by football clubs is out of control and largely beyond our means, plus recent shenanigans at Dagenham & Redbridge show that the promise of outside investment is inherently risky); TBH, it has perhaps always been a case of when, not if, Maidenhead United (and Wealdstone) are back in the regionalised divisions (battling against the likes of Dorking Wanderers, Farnham Town and Maldon & Tiptree) ... but we will support them – and still visit Halifax! – regardless

Not enticed by the prospect of another lengthy journey on the Met line and bearing in mind that it only takes 30 minutes or so by car, Ally S. suggested getting an Uber ride to Maidenhead (less than a tenner each), and that's what we did after me and Macleod (M) had gone for food at Tesco Express and McDonald's, respectively; our subsequent walk home from the station was a sombre one (not helped by news of some of the remarkable attendances at clubs in the divisions below)

Eagle-eyed and/ or long-standing readers of the blog (don't laugh!) might (1) recognise this paragraph and (2) have noticed that I only started writing regular or semi-regular diary entries – for every match in 2017/18, whether I was in attendance or not, and for every League/ FA Cup/ Trophy away game I've attended thereafter (except, I think, for reasons unknown, the 0-0 draw at Aldershot on NYD in 2019) – since our Conference South title win, and I'd vowed to myself that I'd continue to do so until we were relegated back to the regionalised wastelands (always likely to happen at some point); as such, whilst I intend for there to be future entries covering our annual end-of-season tradition, e.g. #FDXXIII at Ebbsfleet (yuk!) next Saturday, I think there's a good chance this will be the final semi-regular, bog-standard Away Day Diary, so, just in case, I shall take this opportunity to once again thank all of those who have contributed in some way (featured, mocked, read, liked, shared, or whatever) – it's been emotional. M.U.F.F.

(BBC report; match highlights)

On the day that Maidenhead United can be relegated from the National League after eight years, I've just woken up with a start, having - for the first time - dreamt that I was drowning (trapped beneath a rock on a beach). I don't think we need Dr Melfi to work that one out! pic.twitter.com/YBbnhpIxId

— ɢᴏ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴏʀ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ (@gomadstopcaring) April 21, 2025

Away Day Diary: Halifax Town 0-2 Maidenhead United (12/04/25)

Hope. It's the hope that kills ya. After a lamentable and soul-destroying 1-0 defeat in the massive relegation six-pointer at D&R, Alan Devonshire's charges had surprised everyone (except perhaps themselves) with a deserved 3-1 victory over in-form and playoff-chasing Tamworth at York Road the following week, so our survival chances weren't dead but remained on life support – it was imperative, especially after away wins for Boston and Woking on Tuesday night, to string consecutive league wins together (hopefully, five of them), for the first time since early October, and next up was a game at one of our favourite and most visited destinations in recent years (the Shaymen had also won promotion to the National League for the 2018/19 season) ... one where we have a winning record (P10 W6 L4, going into Saturday), dating back to a legendary Trophy match in 2004:

14.02.04 FAT W 2-0 Hale, Yaku ~ "Hale and Yaku at The Shay"; "Alexa, play Modern Romance"

09.09.17 NL L 2-3 Goodman, Marks ~ my birthday!

13.01.18 FAT W 4-1 Emmanuel (2), Pritchard (2) ~ lower division Stockport in the next round, who we led 2-0 at half-time in a replay; that shoulda/woulda/coulda been our season for Trophy success :(

30.03.19 NL W 1-0 Obileye ~ important win, took us 11 points clear of relegation rivals H&W

18.01.20 NL L 2-5 Mensah, Upward ~ sandwiched between a 2-2 draw and then a 3-1 home defeat vs Halesowen in the Trophy

30.01.21 NL W 3-2 Orsi-Dadomo (2), Coley ~ lockdown season

21.08.21 NL W 2-1 Barratt, Ferdinand ~ a last-minute winner on opening day

06.11.21 FAC L 4-7 Acquah (2), Kelly (2) ~ an 11-goal FA Cup thriller!

25.02.23 NL W 1-0 Nathaniel-George ~ prompting the hitherto most recent of several celebratory group photos, over the years, in the Three Pigeons

13.02.24 NL L 1-2 Sho-Silva ~ midweek game, rescheduled; the Magpies on the receiving end of a painful 98th-minute winner

A stopover in Halifax (as we did last January despite the match being postponed because of a frozen pitch before we'd even made it to King's Cross on Friday afternoon, resulting in the rescheduled midweek game mentioned above) would have been preferable, but Macleod (M) – the social butterfly that he is – was attending a Boys Wonder gig in Shoreditch the night before and had refereeing commitments on Sunday, so I was on the 05:56 (!) from Maidenhead on Saturday and Macleod (M), who'd stayed over in London after the gig, joined me for breakfast in McDonald's outside King's Cross; after a slightly delayed train journey via Leeds, on which topics of conversation included The Bootleg Beatles, the MUFC Supporters' Player of the Season vote (Reece Smith for me) and Oliver Holt's ranking of the 92, we met with Steve H. aka the Sweetie Blinder aka Solihull Steve in glorious sunshine outside Halifax station and started a pre-match pub crawl that went as follows: København (better than before; our first meeting with a couple of lapsed Arsenal fans who've completed the 92 and are close to finishing the National League), Vocation (better than before; we sat on the roof terrace, as we had done ahead of the opening day win in 2021, joined this time by the Crosbys, the Smiths and the Batemans #MobbedUp), Meandering Bear (cheaper than before; the lapsed Arsenal fans recommended a place just up the road), and Hop In (a new one for us, and a welcome addition; Steve H. insisted on buying us bottles of his favourite beer – which Macleod [M] and I didn't really want, and which he didn't drink himself! – while Phil W. steadied his pre-match nerves with a 12.5% stout)

Lacklustre first half preceded me noticing – while munching on roast potatoes with chilli during the interval (The Shay remains the National League ground with the best food) – that Tristan Abrahams was warming up on his own, suggesting he was definitely in the doghouse (after his perhaps understandable reaction to being hauled off at D&R) or that he was coming on; it was the latter, thankfully, and his spirited performance helped galvanise those wearing black and white stripes (on and off the pitch)

I remarked as time was expiring that we'd tried hard but had lacked quality, which I think was a fair assessment ... then the ball found its way to substitute Sam Barratt, with a clear opening on his left foot at the edge of the penalty area, and, unlike last month at Forest Green Rovers (when he had passed up the opportunity to shoot), he buried it – cue pandemonium in the away end

Fifty-seven of us were jumping for joy once again a couple of minutes later as Shawn McCoulsky bagged his 12th league goal of the season with a deft finish; other results hadn't gone our way (not least Solihull winning at Southend), but we didn't care too much about that as Best Years of Our Lives (apt), Allez Allez Allez and other MUFC victory songs reverberated around The Shay, and we serenaded a steward who looked like Art Garfunkel!

After celebratory beers and a group photo in the Three Pigeons (hopefully not for the last time), an expert supermarket sweep in the Sainsbury's outside Leeds station, a return train journey that featured groups from Scunny, Donny and Grimsby (Grimmy?) 'bantering' with one another ("Where's yer steelworks gone?!") and a walk back to Cox Green, I made it through the front door just before midnight – 18 hours after leaving home!

Xcellent away day, but the bottom line is that we're still five (essentially six) points from safety with only four games left to play; as the legendary NFL owner Al Davis famously said, "Just win, baby!"

(BBC report; match highlights)

Your fans were brilliant never shut up! I hope the 3 points are crucial for you. pic.twitter.com/yZXpbrMHI6

— Danial Clark (@ClarkDania77609) April 12, 2025

Away Day Diary: Gateshead 0-2 Maidenhead United (15/03/25)

Given that my two previous visits to the worst stadium in the National League had resulted in two losses by a combined score of 11-1, and the Magpies had managed just one point (conceding an equaliser to Braintree's ten men) from the five games since the shock win at Oldham, it's safe to say that I was – once again – questioning my life choices ahead of this weekend, especially as Macleod (M) and I had decided to fly up to Newcastle while sat in the pub before the Magpies' 4-0 thumping at Altrincham in mid-January ... the price having risen by nearly 50% compared to when I'd first proposed the idea between Christmas and New Year; anyway, after a lift to Terminal 5 for Macleod (M), Rainey and me in Dad's Taxi (failing to find the free remote drop-off, so resigning ourselves to paying the £6 fee), we enjoyed breakfast and pints (well, Murdo and I had pints) sat next to Sparkes (K) and Sparkes (D) in Spoons ahead of the 09:45 flight (with Phil W. moving to sit next to Murdo) that was, judging by the sound of his voice, captained by Philip from Rising Damp

After dumping our bags at the Premier Inn close to the airport, we dashed for the Metro train, with Rainey staying on (as he was meeting an old colleague for lunch in the Schooner Fog on the Tyne) as the rest of us disembarked at Gateshead and headed, down West Street (as squalid as Maidenhead's High Street), towards the four pubs (three of them micro) recommended on a Reddit thread I'd seen in the preceding days; it was just before midday but, unlike the furthest away (Axis), Microbus was open so we started there, and it was great: quirky decor (the owners are campervan enthusiasts), an excellent drink selection (my Cushty Peeve by Carlisle Brewing Co. was solid), a free-to-play retro arcade machine with hundreds of games (albeit I couldn't work out how to start Street Fighter II), and good conversation (topics included 'Working for British Airways' and 'Lost pubs of Maidenhead')

To Axis (now open), where Macleod (M) was pestered for beef-flavoured crisps by a gorgeous black Labrador, I enjoyed perhaps my favourite ale of the day (DEYA's Magazine Cover), and Phil W. (who had rejoined us after a detour to his B&B in West Jesmond) got stuck into a third of 10%-proof stout ("pre-emptive, ahead of the likely football result"); next was The Central, with Chris Rad. in tow, where an Elliott Smith song somehow sparked a heated debate between Macleod (M) and me about 80s music and 90s music (it was more nuanced than 'which was best', but you can probably work out the gist)

East, Station completed the set of pubs, where we learned the team news (no Reece Smith, Alan Massey or Miles Welch-Hayes; Remy Clerima back from the dead – metaphorically speaking – to make his 249th MUFC start but only his second in the league this season; and a previously unannounced new signing on the bench) before a truncated walk to the ground past a massive seen-better-days steel factory (under threat of closure) and some fella with a makeshift stall selling unlicensed NUFC League Cup Final tat (which probably would've pissed me off if I were a Gateshead fan); the home side dominated possession from the start, but it quickly became apparent that their relatively poor recent run had sapped confidence and this wasn't one of their slick 'sexy football' outfits that had carved us open at will in previous encounters, especially not with a 15th-minute looping header from Manny Onariase giving the visitors a lead to defend

Surprisingly, I think Craig Ross ('Snood' to our friends at Sutton) had only one save of note (which he made – with his legs – look more awkward than it perhaps needed to be), and I'd argue the Magpies had the better opportunities to double their advantage, with the Heed looking uncertain every time we had an attacking set piece; a bumper home crowd was getting (1) increasingly restless and (2) out-sung by the Berkshire horde, but it wasn't until the 84th-minute – and following a horrendous gaffe from their defence – that Shawn McCoulsky, who would later spurn a one-on-one, scored a game-clinching second to spark wild, almost disbelieving, Maidenhead celebrations (on and off the pitch – I think our entire bench bar Alan Dev joined the bundle in front of the travelling fans!)

Hat tip to all the players and coaching staff, but a special shout out to Remy, aka the King of France, who rolled back the years ("He's 31 again!" #IYKYK) with a masterful display as the sweeper in a back three – each of those wearing purple deserved their names sung loud and proud, long after the final whistle had sounded, but the away support (officially 33 in number) dissipated quickly at the end, which was a shame ... although Phil W., Macleod (M), Chris Rad. and I were still humming "Number 30 for Maidenhead is Manny O" to the Supergrass tune as we stopped off at a heaving McDonald's on the walk back to the pubs

East, Station again (Murdo ordered "pints of Southend", which tasted too sour even for me; we checked the National League scores and discussed other unusual pubs), then The Central (which was great: my sour cherry cider went down a treat as did helpings of the complimentary mushroom and potato stew, as we sat in a different but more ornate room with the TV showing a stadium of people belting out La Marseillaise ... presumably in honour of Remy), Microbus (packed, with a Northumbrian musician – vaguely resembling the much-missed Scouse Mick – performing decent versions of Delilah, A Day in the Life, Stairway to Heaven, etc.), and Axis (where the hat-wearing barman from earlier in the day proactively mentioned our win, and I enjoyed an expensive half of 6.5%-proof Holy Goat Blood Orange Crusher Sour), before we walked under one bridge (the High Level) and over another (the Swing) to the Toon for drinks in the Crown Posada (a GMOSC Pub of the Year in 2018, but not nearly as good this time, with a disappointing drink selection and frequented by people who think Maidenhead is in either Kent or Essex) and an all-too-brief stop at the Bridge Hotel, where Macleod (M) realised he and I needed to get the next Metro train from nearby Central Station as that was the last of the night going all the way to the airport (and our hotel)

A relatively decent night's kip preceded a short morning stroll to the airport, a much smoother and quicker security check than at Heathrow, a meal deal from Boots, a chat with a friendly retired couple who were off to Belfast for a city break, photos of Phil W. and Macleod (M) with some black and white balloons (a nice gesture by the airport to put them up for us), jealous complaints about Wealdstone (coming back from three down against Eastleigh, signing Mustapha Carayol, having a council that doesn't hate them, etc.) and our flight home (much busier, with the only spare seat being the one next to Murdo; photos of Maidenhead in the distance as we passed overhead); then Macleod (M) and I caught the No. 7 bus to Slough station via Langley (which was an experience!) for the Lizzy Line back to Maido and a tired walk home (to catch the second half of Arsenal vs Chelsea and hear the welcome news that MUFC Women had won the Berks & Bucks Cup for the first time)

Despite the fact it sounds cliched, this game was one of those that reminds us why we bother; however, as good a win as it was, it needs to be the start of a decent run of results – with in-from Aldershot at York Road on Tuesday – rather than a flash in the pan, otherwise relegation is still the likely outcome ... and I want to return to those pubs (the real Fab Four) in Gateshead next season!

(BBC report; match highlights)

Deserved to beat us and the 30 odd fans made some good noise

— C (@Dec6666) March 15, 2025

Away Day Diary: Forest Green Rovers 2-0 Maidenhead United (01/03/25)

From three clean sheets on the bounce and seven points vs 2005/06 League One clubs Southend, Hartlepool and Oldham (good enough for 4th place in the five-game PPG form guide and 19th in the National League table), Maidenhead United had sadly performed its oft-repeated magic trick of segueing seamlessly into a bad run, with successive home defeats landing us back in the relegation zone and two – effectively three, thanks to our inferior goal difference – points from safety; as such, it was without much/ any hope of a positive result, but still looking forward to an away day – my first on the train since the lowlight that was Sutton in mid-November; my first with him since the draw at Taunton on 12th October – that I met with Macleod (M) for the walk to the station ahead of our first visit to the New Lawn (as mentioned on X, MUFC had played there in the FA Cup in October 2010, but the Macleods, Craig and I had been in Germany that weekend)

Our train – like many others at Maidenhead – was affected by an ongoing points failure at Slough, delayed just long enough for us to feel compelled to sprint across the platforms upon our belated arrival at Reading ... but the 09:59 to Cheltenham Spa had departed on time, and we missed it by a minute or so; to McDonald's for breakfast, where I got the table number wrong (I read 90 rather than 06) and the instore playlist serenaded us with Belinda Carlisle's ode to Charlee Adams – "We're being trolled," lamented Macleod (M), and it was hard to disagree with the sentiment

Ryan D.'s Robbie Williams fandom (he's already seen the Better Man film four times, including once in the cinema on his own) was my main takeaway from time spent on the 10:57 train as we passed the pub close to the station at Kemble (#IYKYK) and chatted with the drummer and lead singer from Prodigal, an alt-metal band, sat alongside us on their way to a rehearsal; the sun was out as we left the station at Stroud in the company of at least one FGR fan, who wished us well while bemoaning a recent defeat at Braintree (!)

Even though it was only a few minutes away (everything seems "only a few minutes away" in Stroud's town centre, which is nice), the fact that we'd lost an hour meant we decided to skip the Ale House (for the moment) and instead met G.M. (who *had* been on the 09:59 train) in the Town Owl Taphouse; decent ale selection, including Hazy Pale from Left Handed Giant (I went to their brewpub in Bristol, the other week, which was great), albeit expensive

Sunny, still – so we sat outside the Queen Vic for a quick drink before the bus ... although, in hindsight, we could've taken our time as the no. 63 was more than 15 minutes late; memories of Cinderford away back in 2010 (same month as the aforementioned cup tie with FGR, coincidentally) as we sat atop a double-decker winding its way through the Gloucestershire countryside

The top four of the MUFC all-time starting appearance makers list features a new name for the first time in several decades, with Alan Massey wracking up his 383rd start to overhaul Derek Gee (which I didn't think would be possible as we exited the cup competitions early and he struggled to even make the bench in recent months); it should go without saying that the skipper is one of *the* greatest players in Maidenhead United's long history, making the majority of his starts at the highest level of non-league (during our golden age) and also holding aloft a championship trophy (an inflatable one!), which very few can say

Godawful defending from those wearing purple gifted the bilious green-shirted hosts an opening goal in the 11th minute – making life harder for ourselves as if it wasn't hard enough already – but we gave as good as we got for the remainder of the first half without having much luck (a deflected effort from Tristan Abrahams hitting the bar) or showing much in the way of clear-headed decision-making (for example, Sam Barratt blasted a right-footed shot high into the stand, then later passed the ball wide when ideally-placed for a left-footed attempt on goal); in truth, I think the home side – jittery-looking on-loan Liverpool keeper an' all – probably had us at arm's length

Referee Abigail Byrne came in for clamorous criticism from some of the 101 travelling fans – *not* because of her gender, but because she made several questionable decisions and also because she was the official who egregiously sent off Thierry Latty-Fairweather ("the left-sided Cafu") vs Solihull before Christmas (Nb. the penalty award for a Tobi Sho-Silva 'handball', resulting in Boreham Wood's winning goal at their place last season, was someone else); she was in no way to blame for our underwhelming second-half performance nor the result in general ... we deserved something from the game with York on Tuesday but nothing from FGR on Saturday

Ecotricity – FGR's shirt sponsors, owned by the club's chairman and major shareholder – make a big deal about green credentials on their website, so they're presumably horrified by the carbon emissions from the long line of vehicles (including our bus on Saturday) stuck in stationary post-match traffic on the only road from the ground to Nailsworth; the whole setup is a bit strange, TBH, with the home support in the fan zone before kick-off resembling folk you'd more typically expect to see in the café at a National Trust location (wearing wellington boots and whatnot)

Excellent drink choices and only £4.40 a pint in the Ale House – my highlight of the day was sitting in there debating 'bin or keep' (few unanimous keeps, you might be unsurprised to learn), and our National League best XI; then G.M. led a supermarket sweep, we had a sing-song on the train (recent additions to the jukebox playlist include tracks from The KLF and Supergrass), and most of us piled into the Portland Arms to join lookalikes of Keir Starmer and Rebekah Staton for karaoke (Ryan D. bottled Angels by his favourite artist, but Macleod [M] did 'All Together Now' for Mick and also duetted with the sister of a former Maidenhead United player), with some staying (perhaps inadvisably) longer than others

Now, we've not yet reached the Rochdale stage, i.e. the defeat in March last season, after which I – and some others – thought we were near-certainties for the drop, but we're not far off and have left ourselves very little wiggle room; a six-point haul from this week's home matches vs Braintree (massive, especially after their win at the weekend) and Sutton (recently defeated 3-0 at home by Spennymoor Town in the FA Trophy) seems, to me, imperative

(BBC report; match highlights)

What a weird experience FGR away is..

— Murdo Macleod (@MurdoMacleod6) March 1, 2025