In August 2010 three Maidenhead United fans were banned from attending home games, by a kangaroo court, for crimes they didn't commit.
These men promptly encountered a jobsworth security blockade, and so escaped to the non-league underground.
Today, still stigmatised by the MUFC Ltd hierarchy, they survive as supporters of fancy.
If you enjoy a train away day - and if you can find them - then maybe you can share a drink with ... the K-team!

Wednesday, 9 October 2019

Away Day (sort of) Diary: Eastleigh 2-1 Maidenhead United (08/10/19)


Even though I had to retrieve them from the laundry basket - after the wife reminded me, in the morning, that they hadn't been washed - my hitherto lucky underpants were on! #needsmust

A familiar haunt: my previous visits to the Silverlake Stadium have included a Macleod (M)- fronted Ye Gods! performing at the Solent Cougars Scooter Rally in July 2007, the most boring football match that I've ever attended (our 0-0 draw there in February 2009), and a 2015/16 pre-season friendly vs Abdul Osman's Partick Thistle

September from hell had seen the Magpies plummet down to earth, and down the league table, after a hugely encouraging first month of the season; October hadn't started particularly well, either

Two minutes is all Halifax had needed to take the lead on Saturday, whereas Eastleigh had to wait until the 26th; the referee, who didn't hesitate to book those wearing black and white, yet was happy to give final warning after final warning to those in blue - and who will presumably be appearing as Dopey, or one of the other dwarfs, in panto this Christmas - waved away vehement protestations of offside, from Alan Massey et al, after Danny Hollands had stooped to head in at the far post

Level at the break, though, after another Danny - birthday boy Whitehall - was quickest to react, in the opposition box, to a fortunate ricochet; there were other Maidenhead shots at goal as well - on target and everything! - and our overall performance, in the first half (at least), was a welcome improvement on recent displays

Excellent cross from the impressive Sam Smart - the Magpies had switched off at a throw-in, after a customary bout of James Comley Comedy 'winduppery' - begged to be converted … and Tyrone Barnett did the honours with a thumping header

I'd have taken a draw before kick-off and there's a good chance that we'd have secured an arguably deserved share of the spoils if our no. 18 hadn't fallen over his own feet, when a bit of Comley magic presented him with a glorious one-on-one opportunity; the former Chester man stayed down afterwards, for treatment on what the 52 away fans collectively diagnosed as acute embarrassment (the fact that it prompted a mid-match tweet from Macleod [M] is testament to what a bad miss it was; don't believe the BBC match report's truly hilarious assertion that 'Max Stryjek pulled off a superb save from James Akintunde to keep the Spitfires' lead in tact')

Goal difference is now all that separates us in 16th from Aldershot in 17th - which encapsulates our recent fall from relative grace - and Saturday's game at bottom-of-the-table Ebbsfleet has taken on a greater importance, with three points imperative; alas, it's difficult to see where our next win is coming from unless or until we bring in two or three better players to relieve the underperformers

Home to Wealdstone in the FA Cup, meanwhile, doesn't bear thinking about when you consider the recent form of the respective sides; I've nightmarish visions that we'll be comprehensively beaten, as we were by the same opposition in Drax's last home league game as Maidenhead United manager #hopenot

Sunday, 1 September 2019

Away Day Diary: Sutton United 0-3 Maidenhead United (31/08/19)


Sore head for me, the morning after a work team night out (sat in the Old Manor's AstroTurf garden ... which, thinking about it, was decent preparation for a visit to Gander Green Lane's plastic pitch); news of Harry Pritchard's move to Bradford City broke as I enjoyed one of several pints of Lancaster Black

Under an hour is how long the drive should've taken, but an accident on the M25 meant that we had to take a detour - past the Turk's Head pub in Staines - and so there was time for just one pre-match drink; good to chat again, in the bar, with @garethdmiller

Terrible first 45 (from both teams, although they probably shaded things and should've had a penalty); Jimmy Nail's Ain't No Doubt playing on the PA at the break was the highlight of the day, up to that point, which says it all

Three lads walked past the travelling hordes, in the second half, and one of them - wearing round glasses - goaded us as he went; the loud chants, started by Macleod (M), that immediately followed - "You're just a shit Harry Potter," "Does Hermione know you're here?" and "Harry, where's your wand?" - had everyone (including his mates, the stewards, and the police) in stitches!

Once Shamir 'Mutha' Fenelon had given us the lead, with an absolute cracker, the result was never in much doubt ... if - bearing in mind (1.) our excellent recent record vs Sutton and (2.) the fact that I was wearing my lucky pants - it ever had been

Nice to see some of the Gandermonium crew (albeit briefly); I wish them all the best for the season and look forward to a proper beer up when they come to York Road for the final game #promotionparty

Sunday, 25 August 2019

Away Day Diary: Yeovil Town 1-2 Maidenhead United (24/08/19)


Yours truly was Billy No Mates on the 09:04 from Maidenhead; my lucky pants (2/2 UPDATE: 3/3), a black and white striped sticker spotted on Platform 2 of Reading station, and Doves' Black And White Town playing randomly on my iPod, instilled confidence that the Magpies would maintain their unbeaten record against the Glovers

Even though I'd been told that Yeovil Junction station was remote, I certainly hadn't appreciated to what extent! The lack of a cash point - indeed the lack of any facilities, bar a car park - meant that it would be a 30-minute uphill trek, along a country road with no footpath, towards civilisation ...

Or what seemingly passes for civilisation in these parts! #moretattsthanteeth I bumped into the Macleods - taking time out from a stay in Wells - outside the Wetherspoons and, after two rounds in there (decent pints of Chesil and Rev. James) and one in the Beehive (scrumptious, homemade pork pies from Wells Market, washed down with rum-infused ale), we were parked up at the out-of-town ground - everything seems to be out-of-town in Yeovil; a truly bizarre place - with just enough time to spare

Very hot weather excused a scrappy game of football that was not dissimilar to the recent one at Torquay (albeit our performance levels were down, and the Glovers not nearly as impressive as the Gulls); Josh Kelly had opened the scoring at Plainmoor and only the crossbar prevented him from doing the same at Huish Park, but I felt that the win was never in serious doubt once we had - somewhat fortuitously - gone ahead ... despite Jake Cassidy missing a subsequent penalty, Yeovil having a goal disallowed for offside, and then some doofus pulling one back for them (immediately after the in-form Danny Whitehall - so good that he doesn't need a warm-up - doubled our advantage, late on, with a pinpoint strike from outside the area)

Inn of choice for celebratory post-match bevvies was the Arrow; I enjoyed a first pint of Blackthorn since my Bristol days #UTG

Love the social media meltdowns from fans of the BELTs that we turn over and, after saying goodbye to Les, there were plenty for me to savour on the train journey from Basingstoke (I was going to write 'Basingrad' there but, bearing in mind the number of high-rise flats that are planned for Maidenhead town centre, thought better of it): Exhibit A, B, C, D, E, etc., etc.