Not what you know

At my local pub quiz last Thursday, Craig mentioned that there were a couple of eye-catching lines in the pg. 5 Advertiser article publicising free entry for the Eastbourne Borough game (death, taxes and Maidenhead United failing to impress an artificially-inflated home crowd … Oh, and before anyone asks, I was at my cousin’s wedding). It didn’t take very long for Macleod (M) and I, using the pub’s copy of the paper, to lock-in on the eyebrow-raising/ guffaw-inducing snippets. In fairness, they weren’t hard to find.

For the benefit of those with better things to do than scour the local rag, in-between trivia questions re Italy’s five most populated cities (Palermo!) and groups that did well on – without actually winning – the X-Factor, the relevant article is reproduced and then dissected below ...

(1) ‘Our record with them over the years is good – sometimes they win, sometimes we win’ 

Hmmm … ‘sometimes they win, sometimes we win’ equates to an average record, does it not, as opposed to a good one?

In any case, a quick Google search reveals that – prior to last weekend – Maidenhead United and Eastbourne Borough had squared-off 12 times in the Conference South (13 times in total, including last season’s 1-0 win in the FA Trophy … which I’ll ignore as I generally dislike odd numbers). In those previous 12 league meetings, the Magpies managed precisely three wins, two draws and seven defeats (including a 6-2 beat down at York Road in April 2006).

As such, ‘Our record with them (Eastbourne) over the years is good’ can officially be categorised as a #chairmanwhoknowshisfootballism.

(2) The new stand is the first stage in a series of changes planned for the club which could include ... an upgrade of its restaurant facilities.

Restaurant facilities??

The Oxford English Dictionary definition of ‘restaurant’ is as follows:

A place where people pay to sit and eat meals that are cooked and served on the premises.

Despite the fact that food is served at York Road (see example, below), I’m not sure that ‘restaurant facilities’ is entirely accurate!

Whilst we’re on the subject of York Road’s gastronomic delights, I understand that the responsibility of running the burger bar now rests with Mark Steward’s son, Jason. In an attempt to avoid the usual aspersions (see the blog strapline, page top), I won’t cover the alleged reasons as to why the decision was taken to displace the previous proprietor, but I would be interested to know the answer to the following question:

Does any of the revenue generated by the restaurant burger bar at York Road – presumably boosted, this season, with HAYU as tenants – go to the football club?

If not, then something smells fishy … and it can’t be the griddled tuna stemperata from the Stripes à la carte menu ;-)

M.U.F.F.