Away Day (sort of) Diary: Hanwell Town 0-1 Maidenhead United (16/07/24)

Holyport 0-6 Maidenhead United (in the rain), then the 11th Maidenhead Beer Festival with my Dad and sister (the latter has a video of me subsequently murdering Margate by Chas 'n' Dave on karaoke at the Portland), was my debut pre-season friendly of the summer; this visit – my first – to Reynolds Field ("Are you winding me up?! I will refer to it as The Powerday Stadium") likely to be my only other one ... unless I can be bothered to attend the game with West Ham's kids (a precursor to that new crappy cup competition), primarily because it's on a Wednesday and doesn't clash with the local pub quiz that takes off-season precedence

After the disappointment of England's Euros Final defeat to Spain and my sister's return to Sydney following the conclusion of her month-long visit to the motherland, I was looking forward to a (non-beery) evening out watching the Magpies at a new ground; I made steady progress along the A404/ M40/ A40 – spray off the tarmac of the latter indicative of an earlier downpour, as was the photo of a rainbow above the flats behind the main entrance to the ground that accompanied the tweeted announcement of our starting XI – and arrived in time for a couple of photos featuring York Road-esque 'modifications' (some more botched and half-finished than others)

Not until half-time did I notice that the home side's keeper was ex-Magpie Sam Beasant (almost double the height of our Trialist shot-stopper who, as he did at Holyport, replaced Craig Ross at the break); at one point during a largely uneventful first half, Beasant was handed (and put on) a bright red baseball cap by an equally tall older gent who was stood next to us behind his goal – in hindsight, that must've been Dave

Worrying – albeit only to varying degrees, as it is pre-season, after all – that (1) Sam Barratt went off injured early on (Casey Pettit, Reece Smith, and the relatively impressive Zaco Bell also had spells on the deck), (2) our passing was generally sloppy and we created little (Beasant was required to make one notable save from the gangly Joseph Ajose), and (3) Tristan Abrahams felt the need to take his frustrations out on a drinks bottle that he booted near the end ... before a winning goal from lively substitute Ruben Carvalho, which was somewhat against the run of play and literally the last kick of the game

Enjoyable last fifteen minutes or so for LB and me, though, as we sat in plush red seats – which reminded me (genuinely) of those at the Emirates Stadium – on the top deck of the red bus-cum-kiosk-cum-viewing gallery (the row furthest away from pitch-side elevated by a plywood platform, which was a nice touch); I've since discovered that Deal Town has (or had) something similar at their ground, so I'm keen to go with the family if the black and white hoops have a home game when we visit the seaside once again during half-term in October

LB and his old man gratefully accepted my offer of a lift back (they had travelled by Lizzy Line and bus), so they joined me as we drove past what I thought was – but actually wasn't – the Hoover Building (where Alan Dev worked as a forklift truck driver when West Ham signed him from Southall for £5,000 in 1976); the heavens opened as we approached Holyport on the Windsor Road and I had to stay in the car for a bit when I got home to avoid getting drenched on the short walk to the front door ... and to think there's talk of an imminent 'heat bomb'!

Lots of our chat throughout the evening had centred on next season's away days – my first *should* be Aldershot on the last day of next month, although that depends on a prompt and hassle-free arrival back from holiday in Crete; otherwise, it'll probably be Tamworth on 14th September – train tickets already booked for that one!

More thoughts: pic.twitter.com/ND3LWnyt9I

— ɢᴏ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴏʀ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ (@gomadstopcaring) July 10, 2024

Away Day Diary: Holyport 0-7 Maidenhead United (09/07/22)

Half-eleven kick-off at Craig's local club; the first MUFC pre-season friendly covered in much/ any detail on here, I think, since Luton Town came to York Road in July 2013 for a fixture that, like this one, coincided with the Maidenhead Beer Festival

On my most recent visit to Summerleaze village (nb. four miles from Holyport village) in July 2009, I remember that trialist Daniel 'son of Dereck' Brown – who would go on to make 166 starts and score ten goals for the Magpies – caught the eye with a high-octane performance as two goals apiece from Alex Wall and Mark Nisbet secured a comfortable 4-1 win

Long and sweaty walk, but Macleod (M) and I made decent headway – stopping for photos in front and behind the Lobster Pot, where Craig and his Holyport mates were supposed to meet us for a pre-match rumble – before arriving at the ground as the teams were waiting to enter the pitch; Macleod (M) had booked our tickets – £10 for entry, a beer and a burger, and a free pint at the festival; so no wonder there was a record crowd (301) – in advance and put my name down as 'Johnson Hippolyte'!

You might be unsurprised to learn a strong Maidenhead lineup – Andre; Chitepo, Eweka, Massey, Beckwith; Esan, Upward, Trialist, Barratt; Acquah (Hoath), McCoulsky (Johnson) – was several levels above the opposition in terms of quality and fitness, and, although the home side should've taken an early lead, a 2-0 deficit flattered them at the break: wayward finishing/ crossing from those in red shirts resulted in me and others regularly risking twisted ankles fetching balls from the ploughed field behind the goal

Port made ten changes in the second half compared to just two late on from the Magpies – yet we still looked like the significantly more energetic group: Shawn McCoulsky completed his hat-trick (eventually), youth team forward Christian Johnson grabbed a brace (celebrating the first – against the side that he will join on loan for the forthcoming season – as if he'd notched the winner in a World Cup Final, which was good to see!), and Eddie Trialist capped a tidy display by getting himself on the scoresheet

Over (pun intended) to the adjoining cricket club (where I used to play as a teenager), straight after the final whistle, for the ninth Maidenhead Beer & Cider Festival: Rainey, Mo Khan, the opposition manager (who I'd bumped into at a petrol station earlier in the day), my Dad, and various other familiar faces would sit and chat with us over the course of the next nine-and-a-half hours (!), as I supped on several decent beverages including By The Horns' Tropika ('inspired by the Pina Colada cocktail, brewed with pineapple puree and coconut flakes'), Bumblebee's Strawberry Mojito cider, and Vault City Brewing's Strawberry Sundae

Rainey getting tear-gassed in Turin during Euro '80 ("there was a Euro '80?!"), and pulled over by the police on the way back from an away game in Essex whilst a passenger in a Ford Escort Mexico, among the more interesting conversation topics before, much later, in front of a sizeable number of people (it was busy throughout the day), a ska covers band performed the worst version of Wonderwall that I've ever heard (yes, even worse than Willie T on karaoke!) – it should, presumably, have sounded something like this:

The quotes for taxis were extortionate – Uber wanted 25 quid! – and so it was another long walk home, but at least (1) the heat had subsided by then and (2) it had been an enjoyable day; time to start planning our trip to Nottingham!

Boozing, nattering away, not watching the game. Standard! https://t.co/avzYl8cLnR https://t.co/sHuL5pTRzx

— ɢᴏ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴏʀ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ (@gomadstopcaring) July 10, 2022

Maidenhead Beer Festival

Maidenhead United 0-1 Luton Town

This friendly was part of the Alex Wall transfer. Apparently, the Hatters were somewhat inflexible with the date. Ergo it coincided with the beer festival. My colleague CJ is a big fan of real ale and Luton Town, so I hoped he might accompany me. Alas, he had other plans. *rolls eyes* I went anyway, if only because I was intrigued by the set-up ...

To the Anchor, firstly, where I drank Guinness with birthday boy Jonny Wah Wah, Payney, and Uncle Richard. As England ground the Aussies into the dust - Root becoming England's youngest ever Ashes centurion at Lord's - Landlord Joe showed off the latest addition to the scarf collection (below). A German woman - the partner of a former Nomads player (surname Davies?) - literally had a tear in her eye when she spotted the Carl Zeiss Jena one. The pleasant university city, which we visited in 2011, is her hometown.

It cost £2 - with my Advantage Card - to gain entry to the ground  ... for the beer festival. Some were apparently charged £10 for the football! More fool them. Immediately, I saw two sparsely-populated tents in front of Stripes and jumped to the premature conclusion that the Slough, Windsor and Maidenhead branch of CAMRA is as noddy as the local football clubs. More fool me.

The covered car park - where the drinks *were* served - was absolutely heaving; I could barely get in! If that in itself wasn't surreal enough, then the very first person I saw was Kim, an old colleague ... from Bristol! Small world. 

I had given the Bell End t-shirt an airing, and it proved very popular. One gentleman told me to name my price for it. Not for sale. However, it's clear that MUSA should consider stocking the design in the Magpie Megastore. All proceeds, of course, to the Stand appeal.

Hardly anyone paid much attention to the game (taking place, it must be pointed out, on an excellent-looking pitch). One old boy asked me who was playing. "I didn't even know Maidenhead had a team," was his response after I'd told him. He knows now. Will he be back? Yeah, but only for next year's beer festival, one suspects. 

Dark Munro - from Orkney - and Weird Beard Brew's Black Perle were my picks of the ales. They went down a treat. Safe to say that we were all rather merry (not least me) as we headed back to the pub. Conversation - rather heated, at times - centred on the forthcoming trips to Whitehawk, Gosport ... and Ebbsfleet. Now, I can think of about a billion other places where I'd rather be, on August Bank Holiday Monday, but an argument put forward is that we should go and 'lay the ghosts'. Hmmm, we shall see ...