Fancy Dresslemania XXIV
Having finally exhausted my list of costume ideas (or at least the half-decent ones), I suggested to the KSG in January that for Fancy Dresslemania XXIV we revisit those we'd previously worn at the athletics stadium in Upminster – it transpired that The Reverend Turner had better things to do with his time, but Adam Ant and Dame Edna Everage were keen, albeit to varying degrees! The aforementioned game, 22 years ago (almost to the day), was the first Fancy Dresslemania (IV) to have something riding on it; John Dreyer's Magpies required a positive result to secure Conference South qualification, which they ultimately achieved on the final day of that season, but this year's edition would be a step up in magnitude – following some unexpected outcomes in the penultimate weekend of fixtures, the home side had a chance to win the NLS title while Ryan Peters' charges needed three points, with a draw potentially enough depending on other results, to avoid finishing outside the play-offs … something he had previously said would constitute failure
Our outward journey went as planned: walk to the station (the only car horns were from two people we know); 10:00 Lizzy Line train from Maido (some fancy dressers jumped on the 09:56 GWR train, presumably because they were so excited; they missed out on an enlightening conversation with a young lady who was on her way to a Beltane-themed house party via a singing gig at a Catholic wedding in Mayfair); Hamilton Hall for pre-match beers (Sudhir was in there, en route to Southend; Aveley and Southampton fans denied entry, presumably cos Maidenhead had taken over); the 11:15 from Liverpool Street (the Quiet Zone was the party carriage – yoof gonna yoof); a walk in glorious sunshine to the stadium entrance on Abraham Court
Rubbish ground as we knew, although a better away section than Sl*ugh (cos of something called terracing); we had more of the play in the first half, although the Urchins had two or three very presentable chances and really should have been ahead at the break
News that Ebbsfleet were losing at Worthing (and Maidstone at Bath) meant the title was beyond Hornchurch, but a draw would be enough for us – cue a torturous second half for the 300 away fans ... one of those games where you just want to fast forward straight to the end
Celebrations – wild ones – at full time, born as much from relief as anything else; this is an unbalanced squad of players who have tripped themselves up at semi-regular intervals (blowing 2-0 leads to drop points vs Farnborough and at Sl*ugh ultimately costing us a shot at the title), but they have kept plugging away and deserve plaudits for reaching the post-season
Hot sun beat down as we sat outside the Windmill pub before trekking past an actual windmill to the Taproom (almost every passing car tooted at us, in stark contrast to our earlier walk in Maidenhead); my first visit to this highly thought-of micropub – it was good, albeit uncomfortably packed and with a strange layout (no bar)
Understandable reluctance to visit a BrewDog bar, especially one full of TOWIE sorts, as the Upminster branch inevitably was, but no other choice if you fancied watching the Arsenal game (which some of us did, albeit not Dame Edna, obvs); Eberechi Eze's early, ultimately match-winning strike made up for the overpriced pints and the lack of unreserved tables
Russell and Carl from Up, Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz (complete with self-plaited hair and spray-painted glittery shoes), and Adam Ant were Dame Edna's 'Best Costume' picks, as we made our way back via Paddington; difficult to argue with that assessment, although there were lots of good'uns, including Arthur Dent, Bob Willis, Shaun from Shaun of the Dead, Stone Cold Steve Austin, a bloodied and bandaged Terry Butcher ... and someone dressed as Macleod (M)! ;-)
Christmas songs on karaoke in the Portland Arms? Only Wham! was available, Santa stepped up as required ("I'll give it to Josh Umerah")
Having not yet had our fill of rubbish grounds – Sl*ugh and Chelmsford among them in recent weeks – it's now Dorking Wanderers on Wednesday night; they've been in poor form but will be favourites on their substandard artificial surface, although the Magpies beat them 2-0 last month (albeit at York Road, with an uninjured Liam Dulson to the fore) and have a puncher's chance of adding another high to what has been a rollercoaster of a season
(MUFC report; match highlights; more Fancy Dresslemania links)
Slough's "we-kept-Maidenhead-out-of-the-playoffs" bus parade – presumably cancelled. pic.twitter.com/IjfV4p6iPb
— ɢᴏ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴏʀ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ (@gomadstopcaring) April 26, 2026
