"As for Maidenhead, the conga (which was amusing) aside, quite a strange bunch really – some the oddest chants I've ever heard at a football match" ~ localboy86, Amber Planet forum, 26th April 2015

Saturday 31 March 2018

2017/18 Diary ~ March

Gastroenteritis was not the best preparation for the weekend … although, thinking about the vomit-inducing hot mess that was to follow, perhaps it was!

Adjectives that could also apply to describe both the Magpies' performance AND the 'International Stadium' within the constituency of the latest MP to post hilarious tweet about 'getting one over' the Prime Minister:

Tragic

Embarrassing

Shit

Hellish

Execrable

Atrocious

Dreadful

(Match highlights here)

Back when this fixture was (re)scheduled to take place in late February, on the Tuesday after the Macclesfield game, I had agreed to drive

Our six-hour (or thereabouts) train journey on Sunday - it took almost as long to get from King's Cross to Maidenhead as it did to get from Newcastle to King's Cross, thanks to a points failure (or summat) at Slough - gave me time to reflect, though, on some of my recent life choices

Rather sit at home and catch up with Shetland on BBC iPlayer, before settling down with a mug of Ovaltine to finish reading The Man With The Golden Gun, than travel to Meadow Park (or even listen to the match commentary)

Every other online list that I've seen ranks either Moonraker or Casino Royale as the best James Bond novel, yet I was left disappointed by them - the first two (by Ian Fleming) that I'd read - possibly because the unsavoury elements of Fleming's writing (e.g. casual racism, misogyny) came as such a shock

However, I was pleasantly surprised by You Only Live Twice TMWTGG - lower expectations, perhaps?

Anyway, as much as the recent Tyneside humiliation has put me off football, for the moment, s'pose I'd better write something on topic …

Maidenhead's starting line-up looked stronger: Rene Steer recovered from a concussion, Harold Odametey and Harry Pritchard returned to their respective wing positions (please don't play them anywhere else, Dev, unless you absolutely have to), and James Comley was back from his latest 'rest'

When it became apparent that Comley was missing - again - on Saturday, I'd feared the worst (not a 7-1 tonking, like, but still); there have been long-standing rumours that the ex-St Albans City man and the gaffer don't see eye-to-eye, and if that is accurate then replacing the former's creativity, in the middle of the park, should be a high priority this summer

One-nil down to an early Morgan Ferrier goal, which didn't bode well

One-all, though, the final score; Moses Emmanuel equalised on the half-hour mark and, by all accounts, we were the better side after the break

Draw was a decent result (for the likes of Wrexham, as well as for us) and, as Dennis Greene - not very popular, apparently, with the Boston United fans that Keith had met on his way to Gateshead - once said: "There's nothing better than a point on the road"

(Match highlights here)

Back when the Anchor was the place to drink - before and after games at the Mecca of Football, across the road - there was a rather impressive, if I say so myself, scarf mural (briefly mentioned in this blog post); the Bluebirds were, for a long time (if not full stop?), the only away fans to contribute

A 1-0 midweek win at York Road in the Second Round of the 2009/10 FA Trophy formed part of their run to the final at Wembley, where they beat Stevenage Borough by the odd goal in three

Revenge came in the form of our own away win (2-0), also in the Second Round of the FA Trophy, in 2013/14 #barrowtwelve

Rugby - final round of Six Nations matches - on the TV, whilst minding the little one, for me on Saturday; once again, I gave the BBC Radio Berkshire commentary a swerve, although this was certainly not an indictment of the work Adam Whitty et al. have been doing

Our lowest National League attendance to date at York Road - 1,030; more than double our season-high league attendance from as recently as 2013/14 - witness to a 1-0 defeat vs the relegation-threatened visitors (reduced to ten men, thanks to a second yellow card for ex-Sutton midfielder Bedsenté Gomis); still a case, therefore, of 'so near but yet so far' re Dev's safety target of 50 points

Whilst I won't be going to nearly as many games next season, Fancy Dresslemania XIX remains firmly on my radar, and I don't have any desire for that to take place at Holker Street (sorry, Barrow fans); I'd much rather Torquay survived but, despite our best efforts to make that happen (with 80% of league games played, we account for 18% of their goals and 20% of their points!), it doesn't look likely

(Match highlights here)

Eight years, this August, since the Macleods and I got ejected from our opening day win at Stonebridge Road on trumped-up charges of 'foul and abusive language' and 'threatening behaviour' 'making children cry'

Bans that subsequently followed, as unjust as they were, were probably a good thing in the long run: better ways to spend Saturday afternoons than routinely following a football club around the country as the fixture list dictates

Beating Nathan Ashmore, Anthony Cook, Danny Kedwell, et al. 3-2 away was one of the most satisfying results of our Conference South title-winning season, according to Macleod (M), but I don't regret missing that game; I have no desire to return to the Kuflink Stadium (as it's currently known) … which, thinking about it, would be somewhat problematic if we were ever due to play there on the last (Saturday) away game of a season!

Stroll to the Shire Horse for lunch (cod goujons, i.e. fish finger, sandwich and a pint of Rebellion's Relativity; both decent) after an unwanted doorstep confab earlier in the day: I'd stepped out onto a (shockingly) cold and wet driveway - wearing just my boxers and a dressing gown - to put a nappy in the bin and was greeted by a Jehovah's Witness (next weekend is, apparently, 'the annual celebration of Jesus Christ's death')

Flapjacks and a flare: I was helping to make the former, as the Youth (presumably) celebrated Harry Pritchard's 81st-minute equaliser by letting off the latter (it seems that we played well and deserved a point, which I'd have happily taken pre-match)

Limping towards our long-held safety target, though, in a rather agonising fashion; simply staying in this tough division will, of course, be a terrific achievement, but after some notable scalps earlier in the campaign, it's a bit of a shame to see our form tail off as it has done of late (Ebbsfleet came into this match atop the four-game form table, whilst we were bottom - hopefully we can kick on again, once we've finally broken through the psychological barrier (?) of 50 points

Envious of our friends at Wealdstone, who had a big Semi-Final second leg (which, sadly, they lost); this felt like our year in the Trophy and getting knocked out at Stockport after dominating the first game and then leading 2-0 in the replay, is a black mark against 2017/18

Excuses are not, thankfully, Dev's style; it was absolutely the correct decision to keep faith with the players who won us the title - I have previously criticised Drax for needlessly breaking up our Southern League promotion-winning team - but I think he'll appreciate that next season could be a slog if the doesn't strengthen the squad in the summer (Nb. James Comley was conspicuous by his absence vs Ebbsfleet; it seems that he went off injured the previous weekend.)

Two million pounds (GBP) is what Ebbsfleet lost - not spent, LOST - finishing second to Maidenhead United last season! Time to share this video again (Is there an extended version? I seem to remember seeing an extended version in the immediate aftermath of Margate.)

(Match highlights here)

Second time this season that I've missed a match-up with Paul 'tell Superman to shut up!' Doswell's charges: I was in Rye, East Sussex, for our 2-0 away win in September and at the in-laws for Good Friday

Understand that our friends at Gandermonium have press accreditation for this summer's ConIFA World Cup, so perhaps, I'll catch up with them then … although the standout fixture - Panjab vs Western Armenia, at Slough Town, on a Saturday in early June - coincides with my Dad's birthday! #jinxed

Truly remarkable that the U's - familiar Isthmian League opponents of ours over the years - hosted Leeds United and Arsenal in the FA Cup last season and are now on the cusp of promotion to the Football League; it was only ten years ago that they finished rock bottom of the Conference South table with a measly 24 points (a 1-1 draw with them at York Road, over the 2007 festive period, had prompted the first calls - that I remember - for the sacking of Drax)

Torquay was not segregated, but Sutton was?! At least the decision - probably made by Thames Valley Police after taking one look at the league table and factoring in the Bank Holiday (allowing them to stand around, picking their noses in the buffer zone on double pay) - afforded one celebrity fan suitable protection from the travelling horde

On/ off commentary from @SUFCTV (presumably, the monsoon conditions played havoc with their equipment): I only heard three goals described live, and so, as far as I'm concerned, we won the first half 2-1 (Pritchard, Hyde; Walton)

Not a good day for Sutton: our match was abandoned at the break (seemingly the correct decision; more questionable was starting the game in the first place) - with little or no sympathy from the hosts - and then Macclesfield won at Woking with the very last kick (the former have a knack for late goals and appear destined to go up as champions)

(Match highlights here)

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