Two Together railcards were supposed to be a thing of the past following our relegation back to the regionalised wastelands, or so Macleod (M) and I had thought; the first league fixture of 2026/27 proved us wrong, though, with Tesco Clubcard points helping me part-pay for another one to soften the (sadly predictable) eye-watering cost of Advance Singles ahead of our third visit to Cornwall's county town after legendary trips – one endured, one savoured – in 2011 and 2017 (a new ground this time, hence the blog post)
Risky to rely on the 06:03 from Maidenhead, as suggested by Trainline and the like, so Macleod (M) and I met at 05:15 (!) ahead of a chilly (albeit perhaps not quite as bad as feared) walk to the station – group photo with some of the travelling horde before catching the 05:56 Lizzy Line train and then the 06:25 GWR service from Reading to Penzance; conversation topics on the long, picturesque and at times boisterous journey included G.M.'s World Cup adventures in the States, that viral video of the Bridgwater United chairman (as we passed their ground), and Dirichlet's theorem on arithmetic progressions (don't ask!)
Under a baking sun, we walked downhill into the city centre and enjoyed our best pints of the day (Skinners, various) in Wetherspoons; the Old Ale House was next, and I was looking forward to re-visiting the place that had finished runner-up to Margate's Fez in our 2017 Pub of the Year vote … but it was a disappointment (and the start of the day turning to shit), with too many Pale Ales – and not good ones at that – alongside some of the most expensive craft beers we've ever seen (including a 3.2% Radler!)
Redeeming feature of the Old Ale House was the bus stop opposite, from where we caught the Park and Ride to the out-of-town ground; I was expecting a half-decent stadium but, after a 20-plus-minute drive into the sticks followed by a walk that seemed almost as long (and was minimally signposted), there was disappointment ... for neither the first nor the last time of the day
Only a few minutes on the clock when a ginger-haired prick of a steward aggressively told me off for temporarily standing on yellow lines to take a photo (and promptly accused me of being aggressive!); we then had to endure the celebrations of Wrong Ender knobheads in the "home end" (there was no segregation and we were stood behind the goal that MUFC was attacking – sound familiar?) as, with the match hitherto resembling two bald men fighting over a comb, a jaw-dropping gaffe from an actual bald man handed the Tinners a lead that they doubled soon afterwards
Coming back from two down never looked likely, despite the turquoise-shirted Magpies rallying for a spell immediately after the break; Josh Umerah – who wore the armband for a period during the second half, which perhaps says something about the dearth of natural leaders in the squad – had a goal correctly disallowed for handball and then a header somehow cleared off the line after good wing play from JML, but overall, Ryan Peters' men were soundly defeated by unremarkable opposition, with a display that was as abject as the home stewards were antagonistic (one of the travelling horde was harshly thrown out by hi-vis jobsworths who seemed intent on inflaming situations rather than calming them)
Into the sizeable Sainsbury's for a carry out before our 18:26 departure; G.M. and I were among those catching up on beauty sleep when we were woken with news that a technical fault meant our train would terminate at Plymouth
Thankfully, another train was waiting for us, but it became absolutely rammed at Bristol Temple Meads and subsequently lost time, meaning that we just missed our connection at Reading, with no trains to Maidenhead for nearly an hour (#shambles); more opportunity to discuss why this wasn't a good day out tainted by 90 minutes of football, as is sometimes the case, but rather a genuinely bad day that reminded us of the dreaded Drax Years *shudders*
Yours truly and Macleod (M) were afforded a lift from Maidenhead station to Cox Green in Rainey's pristine 1991 Jaguar XJ40; along with G.M.'s extraordinary spread on the outward train journey (assorted sandwiches; scones with jam and clotted cream; four bottles of Bucks Fizz; teas and coffees served in Costa cups with hot water supplied by a large urn resembling Lord Buckethead – which he mailed back to Berkshire from the Post Office in Truro!), this was by far the best thing about an away day that lasted more than 19 hours and marked a decidedly inauspicious start to the new campaign
Miserable, on and off the pitch.
— Murdo Macleod (@MurdoMacleod6) August 8, 2026
