Away Day Diary: Leamington 2-0 Maidenhead United (15/11/25)

League form was consigned to the back of our minds, mercifully if only temporarily, as this FA Trophy interlude featured one of the more intriguing draws we've had in the competition for some time – but would it be more like Barrow in 2013/14 or, at the opposite end of our 'good day out (tainted by 90 minutes of football)' scale, Halesowen in 2019/20?

England vs Serbia with G.M. on Thursday night, and in the Globe beforehand, the Magpies' embarrassing 2–2 draw vs the lower-division Yeltz cropped up in conversation with G.M.'s Reading-supporting mate Adam, as – randomly – it had been his very first MUFC game! The World Cup Qualifier at Wembley Stadium was a wet one, and persistent rain continued into and throughout the following day, meaning that the match at Leamington was in some doubt until a Twitter announcement on Saturday morning just as I was about to meet at the top of the road with Macleod (M) and Sandeep (whose wife is from the Warwickshire spa town, and who would be attending his first MUFC away game since the calamitous midweek hiding at Altrincham in January)

After a brisk walk to the station (fly-tipping among the conversation topics) and an agreeably straightforward train journey via Reading – with unfavourable comparisons made between today's MUFC strike force and the one featuring Rocky Baptiste in 2008/09 – we met with Solihull Steve, aka the Sweetie Blinder, as scheduled, and began our pub crawl with decent pints of Purity at the Fizzy Moon Brewhouse

Mobbed up! Chris Rad., K.K., Phil W., and Stuart had joined us, and there were more Magpies in the Benjamin Satchwell – but no TWS, who had taken the conscious decision to miss only his second game in 11 years! ("Yh all sweet mate just had enough of spending all my money watching that shower of shit")

Into the Boiler Room, which was good, before we managed to catch a significantly delayed 665 bus from outside the Crown Hotel – some home fans on the journey pointed out the site of their old ground (now houses) ... mournfully, and understandably so, as their current one is in the middle of nowhere and would've drawn sharper criticism if we hadn't recently suffered the misfortune of visiting AFC Totton

No Josh Popoola ("He makes me happy") in the starting lineup, but that baffling choice doesn't entirely explain another abysmal performance from those wearing red – somehow we were only one down at half-time to the side propping up National League North, with just two goals in seven games and no win since 2nd September (when we were midway through our six-game winning run, smashing Bath City at Twerton Park with a passable impression of Brazil's 1970 World Cup–winning team)

Game over, in truth, when the Brakes got a second not long after the restart, with the justifiably agitated away fans (among the 412-strong crowd) now longing for the final whistle and steeling themselves ahead of inevitable recriminations – for the record, Phil W. and I had already retreated to the bar well before Sandeep captured his Pulitzer Prize-worthy footage

There was a rumour in the Urban Fox, as we ate Indian food and drowned sorrows, that our greatest ever manager (x2) had been sacked – and that would have been the correct call, IMO, as his previously inexhaustible credit has completely whittled away … but it soon became clear that Alan Dev remained in situ, and, regrettably, had doubled down in a rare post-match interview

Our Chairman has achieved much to be proud of at the football club during the two decades he and his family have owned Maidenhead United, but I think his unwavering loyalty to managers who are no longer deserving (Carl Taylor, Drax, now Dev) has been a notable weakness – so, where exactly does he think we go from here? ("Winslow, presumably")

Nothing really matters… sang Macleod (M) in duet with a blonde-haired member of a hen party on karaoke in the Portland Arms; I always enjoy it in there, but on this occasion, the vocal talents of variable quality were no distraction – there was no escaping the nagging sense that this had been another good day out (tainted by 90 minutes of football) a nightmarish day with potentially seismic repercussions :-(

(MUFC report; match highlights)

"I approached the fans with the intention of thanking them for travelling" https://t.co/uFd8T5jx6Z pic.twitter.com/ZCqEGMljfu

— ɢᴏ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴏʀ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ (@gomadstopcaring) November 17, 2025

Saturday 14th February 2004

Today is the twentieth anniversary of one of my all-time favourite MUFC games. On Valentine's Day 2004, in the 5th Round of the FA Trophy, we won 2-0 at Halifax – an away day for the ages. Memories of Willie T. – the longest-serving Halifax employee? – helping Jon Urry put out the kit, Phil Wilson's performance between the sticks, Hale and Yaku's goals, the away fans making a din (on the terrace behind one of the goals that they subsequently haven't let us stand on), and, after the minibus ride back, Macleod (C) and I dancing and singing along in Smokey Joe's to a UK hit single (#4) from October 1982 ...

Advertiser report ~ there's a colour copy of the accompanying photo at my Mum and Dad's house, as they are in the background between Messrs Wilson and Dugdale.

Extended highlights ~ well worth a watch, if only for the commentary!

MUFC: Wilson; Dugdale, Connor, McIntosh, Jennings, Gallen, Lee, Ashe, Yaku, Hale, Farley; SUBS: Boyce, Durrant, Gray, Hart, Jenkins; ATT: 1,345

Who was Halifax's manager back then, I hear you ask. Chris Wilder. Whatever happened to him?!

Anyway, I'm off to play Best Years of Our Lives on a loop for the rest of the day!

Oh oh oh oh, makes me wanna dance ...

Away Day (sort of) Diary: Hemel Hempstead Town 2-3 Maidenhead United (20/12/22)

Having made his 199th start (and Sam Barratt his 100th) in our plucky home defeat to Notts County, Remy Clerima – our fantastique Frenchman – would have to wait to become the 39th man since 1919 to join the MUFC 200 Club due to the postponements of both our midweek NL trip to Altrincham and originally scheduled Trophy tie vs the Tudors

Even though Remy's potential landmark appearance was the main reason for me making the relatively short journey to Vauxhall Road (for the first time since a soporific 1-0 defeat under Drax on New Year's Day 2007), I was also pleased to be willing and able to take in a final game of 2022, and a pre-Christmas one to boot (with all that this entails); after collecting Chris Rad. from the train station, then pumping up my car's tyres at the Esso on Cookham Road before getting Craig, we were motoring up the back roads to the M40 (and ultimately the M25 and M1) while covering topics such as Outnumbered, an embarrassing Berks & Bucks Cup defeat, and favourite songs by The Specials (RIP, Terry Hall)

Maidenhead took an early lead, but Hemel (featuring former MUFC Youth teamer Bayley 'son of Dereck' Brown – "legs up to Will De Havilland's nipples" – in midfield) equalized when a long-range effort inexplicably beat a static Alexis Andre Jnr. (Phil W condemned our Tik Tok superstar by likening the goal to one he had carelessly conceded while donning the gloves for a Ministry of Justice team in a Civil Service six-a-side tournament at Barnes rec in 2011.)

Exceptional – in the unusual sense – ground (small pitch surrounds with dangerously large drop-offs in places, AstroTurf on the terracing by the sizeable scoreboard, etc.), and it was something of a relief that we were attacking the decent bit of covered terracing in the second half; two quick-fire goals from Kane Ferdinand (his second) and Ashley Nathaniel-George put the game to bed (Hemel's consolation came deep into added time), meaning we could work our way through McKendrick's Twelve Days of Christmas and concentrate on serenading le modèle masculin

Less said, the better about the shouting match between Stacey the Steward and Macleod (M) shortly – the critical point – after the final whistle (in Carneyesque darkness); neither that nor the fact we now face Dagenham and Redbridge (AGAIN) in the last 32 could spoil a night featuring ticks for most, if not all, boxes (including photos with Remy ... taken by Rene!)

(Advertiser report; match highlights)

Favourite part of the match was 20 minutes of @MUFCYorkRoad fans signing

- Full rendition of 12 Fosters of Christmas
- ‘Clerima’ in the Tequila beat
-Singing “We’re not singing anymore” when Hemel scored a consolation goal in the 92nd minute

Fair play Maidenhead 🤣 https://t.co/L7RLmeLmtc

— Danny Siggers (@DannySiggers) December 20, 2022

Away Day Diary: Halesowen Town 2-2 Maidenhead United (11/01/20)

Happy birthday (25) to me, on the first and hitherto last time that Maidenhead played at The Grove, back in September 2006 (the wife - girlfriend at the time - and I stayed over afterwards, in Birmingham, if memory serves); Saturday was Alan Massey's birthday (31), and so we bought him a beer after the game (reluctantly accepted, so embarrassed was he by the Magpies performance)

Although we'd been there before - and I completely understand the appeal of Bradford (Park Avenue) - I was relieved that Halesowen had won their First Round replay, because I couldn't face another trek up to Yorkshire; not with the trains still busted, out of King's Cross, and so soon after Harrogate away

Left Reading on the 09:45 (Clive Connor - brother of Brian 'MUFC Hall of Famer' Connor - was sat in our carriage and, remarkably, was also on the same return train as us; we had a brief chat and a photo); then New Street to Snow Hill, a meet with Steve H Solihull Steve aka 'the Sweetie Blinder' on the 11:43 to Rowley Regis (which, IMO, sounds like a West Indian cricketer of '80s vintage), and a soaking on the walk to the Fixed Wheel brewery tap

Early contender, this, for GMOSC Pub of the Year; the meal deal ("better than Tesco's"), the beers (Tornado Tom was the near-unanimous favourite), the cheeseboard (intended, I think, for brewery tour participants, but we got stuck in regardless), the decor (I'm a big fan of these industrial unit/ warehouse-type places, a la Dhillon's in Coventry), and the conversation (jovial recollections, with two couples from Worcestershire, about our various attempts at the Tything pub crawl) were all on point

Short taxi ride - G.M. was with us, and I said to his Reading-supporting mate, attending his first Maidenhead away game, that we'd probably just experienced the most enjoyable part of the day - to the Waggon & Horses, Islington (not that one), close to the ground; it would be understandable to think that we were back in Harrogate, judging by the almost mind-boggling choice of ales

Only one covered terrace, and it was cold, wet and windy as the Magpies attacked the open end of the ground in the first half; Joe Ellul scored with an early header, though, to warm the cockles

We re-took the lead through Josh Smile's neat finish just before half-time/ immediately after they had equalised with a screamer from outside the box; things seemed relatively rosy at the break, as we queued for the bogs and posed for a photo with John G, although Chris Dunn's injured hamstring - Ellul was taking goal kicks - was cause for some concern (what's TAH doing these days?)

Equaliser number two came early in the second half - an almost carbon copy of Ellul's opener (free header, at the near post, from a corner) - and, despite their keeper having to make a decent save to deny Jake Cassidy, the Yeltz (three divisions below us; the same level as M@rl*w) were unarguably the better team overall; their players were applauded from the pitch at the final whistle, by both sets of supporters, and deservedly so

Not my preference to go in the crowded clubhouse but go in the crowded clubhouse we did (more Fixed Wheel beers; plus a chat and a photo with N.O'G. - Maidenhead fan and groundhopper royalty - on his way to Torino vs Bologna) before a taxi to Brum and a pub crawl (as per the 2018 edition of the Good Beer Guide) back to New Street station: the Gunmakers Arms (pints so bad that the Macleods didn't come close to finishing theirs), Pint Shop (crowded; loads of decent ales on), the Wellington (crowded; loads of decent ales on), and the Post Office Vaults (not so crowded; loads of decent ales on) #yougetthedrift, #memorykindahazy

(Match highlights)

Solihull (A), Halifax (A), Fylde (A) on successive Saturdays at the start of February ... *if* we win the replay, tomorrow night, vs Halesowen. https://t.co/3dMCS94kKz

— ɢᴏ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴏʀ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ (@gomadstopcaring) January 13, 2020

2017/18 Diary ~ February

^^^ Saturday 3rd, FA Trophy 3rd Round Proper, drew 1-1 (H)

Scarf My Father Wore - County's adopted anthem - is, according to Tim Marshall's excellent "Dirty Northern Bastards!" And Other Tales from the Terraces: The Story of Britain's Football Chants, as good it gets re songs at football; I was pleased to hear it live … although it can go on a bit!

The Maidenhead equivalent, of course, is Soggy Sombrero; the original instigator of said ditty - the legendary Brian McK - entered the Maiden's Head, pre-match, just as we were leaving

Orient getting all of the Bell End in August pissed me off, as my York Road match day experience is negatively affected by not being able to stand behind both goals; imagine my reaction to turning up on Saturday and seeing that segregation pens have been installed on the 'Maidenhead Kop' (the turd-coloured paint job does, I think, give some indication as to the level of thought from those responsible)

Canal End: plans for turnstiles down there - work had belatedly started last summer - appear to be in tatters (a breezeblock wall has been demolished, replaced by a chain-link fence that extends towards York Road), hence the aforementioned ruination of the Bell End :-(

Keeper Ben Hinchliffe was in the thick of the action throughout: expertly stopping a fierce drive from James Comley - after the Hatters had taken an early, and not-undeserved, lead - then smiling ear-to-ear at the away fans (noticeably fewer than the other ex-Football League sides that we've hosted this season), who were literally wiping brows and puffing out cheeks, after the 'Marlow in the black' had booked Comley for an alleged dive (stonewall penalty not given, IMO; other decent shouts also waved away)

Piss poor performance from the official summed up still further when he clearly went to book our Man of the Match, Ryan Upward, for over-celebrating his equaliser - Les described my reaction to the goal as 'rolling back the years' #scenes - only to realise that it would've been the midfielder's second yellow of the game, and so sheepishly returned the card to his pocket

On an increasingly wet and muddy pitch - one that certainly wasn't conducive to easy-on-the-eye football - Maidenhead cranked up the pressure; Stockport defended valiantly, though, while the ball just didn't seem to want to fall for us in their box … and when it did …

Ryan Upward - that man again - was denied by another top drawer Hinchliffe save; a near relentless barrage of corners followed, as full-time approached, but the final whistle sounded seconds BEFORE an effort from substitute Adrian Clifton nestled in the onion bag

Tuesday night replay it is then; uncertain, at the time of writing, whether I'll be able to join Macleod (M) and his other passengers for the car journey up north …

(Match highlights here)

*** Tuesday 6th, FA Trophy 3rd Round Proper Replay, 
lost 3-2 AET (A)

Snow was forecast, but the game went ahead; however, I wasn't among the travelling support - 21 diehards in total - due to babysitting duty

Team sheet didn't fill me with much confidence: Remy Clerima out (injured?), Harry Pritchard and Sean Marks only on the bench

0-0 at the break was a minor miracle: both Craig and Macleod (M) were far from complimentary about our first-half display

Cue a half-time rocket from Dev, presumably, and two quick-fire goals (from Jake Hyde and Sam Barratt)

Kiss of death, texting 'Wem-ber-ley! Wem-ber-ley!' to Craig and the Macleods? Yep.

Pegged back to 2-1 by Darren Stephenson - impressive in the first game; this one as well, by all accounts - before County equalised, via a deflection (again; their opening goal at York Road had also been inadvertently diverted past Carl Pentney), in the 90th-minute

Ouch! 3-2 AET, with a strong suspicion of handball re their winner; "Two-nil and you fucked it up" :-(

Rather like our disappointing FA Cup exit, at Coventry in November, the only silver lining is that an eagerly anticipated league game - Macclesfield away on 24th February - can now go ahead as originally scheduled

Tough result to take, though, no two ways about it; almost glad that I wasn't there. (Almost.)

(Match highlights here)

*** Saturday 10th, National League, lost 2-1 (H)

Tottenham vs Arsenal on BT Sport; Maidenhead could really do with another striker, but even the Magpies would likely turn their noses up at Alexandre Lacazette, judging by his finishing - or lack of - at Wembley

Oval ball action, i.e. Ireland vs Italy in the Six Nations on ITV? I watched less than ten minutes before bolting to the kitchen to make cupcakes with Junior (whilst listening to BBC Radio Berkshire, obvs.)

Rather worrying to read Dev's pre-match comments about the state of the squad, post-Stockport; learning that Alan Massey was also suspended for two games only made things worse

Quite a din from the travelling support - who numbered anywhere between 200 and 400, depending on your source - even before they'd taken a first-half lead (great strike by Colchester loanee Aaron Barnes, brilliantly captured by Scouse Snapper Mick)

Upward, Ryan with a superb equaliser, direct from a free-kick; goals and Magpie of the Match displays on consecutive Saturdays from the former Flackwell Heath, Beaconsfield SYCOB and Burnham midfielder, who seems increasingly comfortable at this level

ANOTHER fluky, deflected goal against (late winner); very frustrating

York Road stewards would struggle to organise the proverbial piss up in a brewery, so it was a baffling decision - by the similarly incompetent Thames Valley Police? - not to segregate; disappointing, but certainly not surprising, to read reports of fisticuffs between small groups of 'supporters' #familyclub

(Match highlights here)

*** Saturday 17th, National League, won 3-1 (A)

Gone are the days when I'd religiously attend Maidenhead United games - week in, week out, without question - but I genuinely can't think of any that I was gutted to miss … until this month when, it transpired, two came along like London buses: the replay at Stockport and our - quite possibly one and only - visit to Nethermoor Park

Unfortunate timing for me, as this fixture - the first of three 'big' away games in the space of four weeks (the others being Macclesfield and Gateshead) - coincided with a trip to the in-laws' to celebrate my wife's birthday

I chatted with my neighbour - Truronian, octogenarian, and Magpies Season Ticket holder - whilst loading the car on Friday morning; "Guiseley have lost their last six … so they'll probably beat us!" he quipped

Strange coincidence that Paul Cox was sacked as Lions boss in the week: the second time this season that he's been relieved of managerial duties ahead of a game with us!

Earthquake, registering 4.4 on the Richter scale, should've been - but wasn't! - felt by us, shortly before 3pm, in Monmouth: approximately 50 miles from the epicentre and home, it would seem, to a British Geological Survey real-time seismogram monitoring station!

Less said the better re our defending, as the home side opened the scoring through ex-Wanky Wanderers striker Dayle Southwell, but the Magpies were ahead at the break, and Harry Pritchard - with his second; Jake Hyde got the equaliser - extended the lead soon after the restart

Easy enough win, by all accounts, and we're now slap-bang mid-table (P11 D11 L11 F46 A46); happy days

You'll struggle to find a Magpies fan, BTW, who won't wish James Mulley all the very best - even at Humpton - following his recent move; he'll always have a prominent place in Maidenhead United folklore, thanks to that goal - and THAT celebration - at Port Vale in the FA Cup #pandemonium

(Match highlights here)

^^^ Tuesday 21st, National League, won 3-1 (H)

Evening games at York Road are often magical: even the most mundane league encounter can feature memorable 'I was there' moments (e.g. Louis Wells' comical flap leading directly to Lord Jamal of Fyfield's solitary home goal - a thirty-yard wonder strike three-yard tap-in winner - vs Staines [Att. 271] in April 2010; Rocky Baptiste's hilarious free-kick vs soon to be defunct Thurrock [Att. 186] in March 2009)

As such, there was no way I was staying at home to watch Chelsea vs Barcelona on TV (sentiment seemingly shared by 1,054 others)

Strong start from the home side, as strong winds swirled around the oldest senior football ground in the world continuously-used by the same club™; James Comley was pulling the strings, despite Eastleigh's best efforts to kick him off the park

Thirty-six (or thereabouts) was Moses Emmanuel's first half offside count but, on one of the few occasions that the flag stayed down, the former Spitfires striker latched onto Sean Marks' flick and curled a shot past Graham 'Arsenal Invincible' Stack; a great finish, if it wasn't miss hit/ deflected (the flight of the Conchords ball was rather odd)

Late arrival from Macleod (M) - owing to football practice with the Nomads - and, as soon as he'd taken his place on the Bell End, just before half-time, Eastleigh were awarded a (dodgy) penalty; big centre half Ayo Obileye duly dispatching the spot-kick, as he had done in the corresponding fixture

Excellent run and cross from Harold Odametey, after the break, set up Marks to restore our lead (#9 burying the ball at the third attempt); Sauce was Man of the Match and had the left-back - Sam Wood - on toast in the second half … so much so that the ex-Wanky Wanderers defender was later hauled off!

I fully expected the referee to blow for a foul on Stack, as Harry Pritchard's corner sailed over the keeper's head and into the net, but he didn't! (Chris 'knee-high to the first defender' Ferdinand would surely disapprove)

Golden Earring (of Radar Love fame) cropped up in conversation on the Canal End - sparking a roll call of other Dutch bands - as the Magpies sauntered to a richly-deserved victory; now just seven points off the play-offs!

Hard away games coming up, though: league leaders Macclesfield on Saturday - fresh from a remarkable 4-1 win at Tranmere - followed by fourth-placed (at time of writing) Boreham Wood on Tuesday (Nb. currently the top two sides in both the four-game and ten-game form tables)

(Match highlights here)

^^^ Saturday 24th, National League, lost 1-0 (A)

Macleod (M) and I were approached at the station, whilst waiting with TWS and Shay for the 08:52 to Reading, and are now informants for the British Transport Police; the karmic payback for this was our train going backwards - literally - from Birmingham New Street

Another delayed journey on Branson's sorry excuse for a rail franchise only made bearable by an entertaining conversation with the young lady sat opposite me (a 25-year-old peroxide blonde Care Worker from Coventry with face-piercings and more tattoos than the average 'baller); she was going to Stoke, to visit her soldier boyfriend, and so we tasked her with photographing a pint of Titanic Brewery ale (she'd only managed some shop-bought bottles, as of Saturday night, although these did include a Plum Porter)

Craig was originally due to be coming with us - indeed, he'd actually bought the tickets, on the train journey to Hartlepool the week before Christmas - but would instead be attending the launch of Tracey Thorn's new Record; still, he had been kind enough to provide us with some recommendations via the Good Beer Guide app

Circular (kind of) walk - 3.3 miles in length and featuring six pubs, Moss Rose (obvs.), plus a stop at the Aldi near the station - was planned, and highly anticipated, but put under some pressure by our tardy arrival

List of pre-match boozers: the Treacle Tap (we'd almost persuaded the aforementioned Care Worker to ditch her beau and join us here, so good did it sound; and it didn't disappoint), RedWillow (beer menu as extensive as the copper pipework in this stylish bar which, while perhaps a bit too swanky for a football away day with the LADZZZ, seemed fairly typical of Macclesfield: 'an upmarket Halifax'), and the Park Tavern (meh; more of a restaurant than a pub)

Lovely stroll, through South Park, to the ground; visual highlights included a Yates' Wine Lodge sign on the side of someone's house (coincidence Liverpool FC flags were flying from the caravan in the garden? I think not! #stuffwevescoused) and two massive (Moldavian?) military vehicles parked on a residential street

Ex-Football League club in delusions of grandeur shock! We were initially snubbed at the away fans turnstiles - directed instead to the away fans ticket office - before not being allowed on the sun-baked terrace behind the goal

Square pegs, round holes line-up - again - from the Magpies, with James Comley (rested) and Harold Odametey (personal reasons) both absent; losing Rene Steer and then the in-form Harry Pritchard, both with injuries, before the start of the second half, certainly didn't help matters

Food was substandard: my Steak & Kidney pie wasn't too bad but was overpriced, while others reckoned that the Meat & Potato ones would've been perfectly suitable for vegetarian consumption

I said "this will finish one-nil" - we'd defended well, particularly Jake Goodman (justified winner of our Man of the Match poll), but lacked creativity in the final third - and so it proved; disappointing to lose to such a late goal - Dev was FUMING - but they (just about) deserved it … the sort of result on which title wins are forged

England behind in the Six Nations as we entered the Macc, which was much better than I'd expected judging by its dilapidated industrial estate surroundings (any pub that covers its toilet walls with vintage copies of Viz gets a thumbs up from me); the chippy opposite was doing a roaring trade, so much so that we had second thoughts about joining the lengthy queue and instead made our way to the Wharf (not bad, but not Cheshire Pub of the Year -worthy either, IMO)

Last watering hole, before our supermarket sweep, was the pump-clip-tastic Waters Green Tavern; I enjoyed (1.) a swift pint of Banquo and (2.) correctly pointing out to the resident barflies the Shakespeare play in which said character - and his ghost - makes an appearance

Diane from Donny -equivalent conspicuous by her absence, as feared, on the return train journey; there's a noticeable difference, I think, in the clientele on Saturday evening trains going to London through the East Midlands vs those heading towards Reading via the West Midlands (e.g. one of the football fans who took it upon himself to sit with us on Saturday - a bald Aston Villa supporter with a hipster beard, who'd apparently spent the day boozing in Leamington Spa - had something resembling a swastika tattooed on his ring finger)

(Match highlights here)

PREVIOUS INSTALMENTS: August, September, October, November, December, January

2017/18 Diary ~ January

*** Monday 1st, National League, lost 3-1 (A)

Supping pints of Thatcher's Gold, sat in the Thatched Cottage with the wife and Junior, I suddenly had an urge to make chilli con carne for dinner; United had been reduced to ten men as we left the pub in search of ingredients

Onto the Co-op near the Foresters, as Wessex Way didn't have any mince; I checked my phone and was pleased to see that, not only was it now ten-a-side, but we'd taken the lead through Moses Emmanuel

Less than ten minutes later, having walked through the front door and switched on Final Score (after putting the mince in the fridge), we were 3-1 down!

Into pole position for the worst officials of the season, wrote Macleod (M) on twitter - yikes!

Head-scratching line-up once again - where was Ryan Upward? - while injuries (James Mulley and Christian Smith; plus Upward, presumably) and suspensions (three-match ban now for Adrian Clifton) continue to mount

Understand that we cannot further extend Emmanuel's loan, so suspect he'll soon be returning to his parent club (I doubt that we'll sign him permanently as [1.] he hasn't pulled up any trees and [2.] his reported wages at Sutton are eye-watering); reinforcements - one new striker, at least - must surely be on their way (#announcekabamba)

List - not particularly long - of other signings that I'd make include a new right-back, which would allow Remy Clerima to move more permanently to centre-half

Loud, on-pitch bollocking for the players, from Dev at the final whistle, but we shouldn't be too disheartened: still closer to the play-offs than the final relegation place … although reaching our 'safety' target of 50 points cannot come soon enough (P.S. Chilli con carne was as disappointing as the performance/ result.)

(Match highlights here)

*** Saturday 6th, National League, drew 0-0 (H)

How much of an aberration was the Shaymen's performance against us at their place? They entered the return fixture a relatively lowly 16th in the table, yet remain the most impressive side that I've seen us play

Away day of the season, thus far? Hartlepool (and Fylde?) will understandably garner many votes but, for me, Halifax in September currently gets the nod despite our defeat (I'm biased: it was my birthday, and I got to sit next to Diane from Donny on the train back from Leeds!)

Landmark announcement, in the week, that this game would be the first of many upcoming live commentaries from BBC Radio Berkshire; remarkable in the sense that, until very recently, Maidenhead United barely got a mention on there … unlike Basingstoke Town, a club that isn't even in Berkshire!

In-laws arrived, ahead of Junior's birthday on the Sunday, as I was listening to Adam Whitty and Daniel Darlington on the iPad; coincidentally, one of my personal highlights of this season was listening to BBC Radio Cumbria's commentary of Barrow vs Maidenhead in August, supping Rev. James, whilst sat in glorious sunshine in my in-law's back garden (the co-commentator that day - John Goodwin - was pure comedy gold: "He [Carl Pentney] couldn't keep pigeons," was one memorable line!)

Former Humpton striker Nicke Kabamba was strongly rumoured to be signing for the Magpies but instead joined Aldershot, on loan from Portsmouth, and scored the winner on debut

A draw is probably about right, summarised Dan Darlo on the comms, with Maidenhead having the better of the first half - Moses Emmanuel missing a header when it seemed easier to score - and Halifax coming on strong in the second; to be expected, I suppose, bearing in mind that they had the luxury of bringing on Tom Denton and Matt Kosylo - both excellent, back in September - whereas Dev could only name four replacements … and these included James Hammond and Ryan Peters #barebones

X is, of course, the Roman numeral for ten; our next league win will be our tenth of the season and, similarly, our next league defeat will be our tenth (interesting to note that Braintree Town - Dev's previous club - were relegated from the National League last year, finishing in 22nd place, despite winning 13 [XIII] games)
  

(Match highlights here)

*** Tuesday 9th, Berks & Bucks Senior Cup 2nd Round, 

drew 3-3/ lost 5-4 on penalties (H)

Club that Maidenhead United has faced most often? I'd have guessed Marlow, but the actual answer is Chesham United (unless - unlike 'One For Sorrow, Two For Joy' - you count Slough/ Slough United/ Slough Town as a single entity!)

Here's an idea, Berks & Bucks FA, to make your 'prestige' competition less of a snoozefest: combine the Senior Cup and the Senior Trophy, and seed the entrants (Magpies fans of a certain vintage speak fondly of visiting the likes of Wolverton; nowadays it's seemingly the same opponents year in, year out)

Entertaining night, though, at this stage last season in last season's Quarter-Final (which took place in November!): our 2-1 victory at Marlow was great fun ('wonderkid' Josh Kelly - currently breaking equalling records, on loan at Walton Casuals - with a late winner in front of the noisy travelling horde)

Slough Town's new ground - Arbour Park - was the venue for the 2016/17 final, held over to the 2017/18 pre-season; I wasn't particularly impressed by the stadium as a whole - a decent stand, admittedly, but two very basic ends - and hope that we don't have to visit again anytime soon

Has a Maidenhead United side ever won a penalty shoot-out at York Road?! I've definitely witnessed two defeats: FA Youth Cup tie vs Torquay United in 2014/15 and Full Members' Cup tie vs Basingstoke Town in 1991/92 (the latter featuring John Smeulders and mentioned in the Torquay blog post)

A number of our Youth products made debuts for the first team on Tuesday night (incl. Josh Masters; I used to play with his Dad, back in the day, for Maidenhead Boys! #feelingold), which is a good thing, but bona fide additions to the first team squad remain conspicuous by their absence :-(

Macclesfield out of the Trophy, thanks to a Matty Kosylo header; our league game at Moss Rose will now go ahead on 24th February, as scheduled, unless we can overcome - for starters - Kosylo's Halifax at the Shay on Saturday …

(Match highlights XXX)

*** Saturday 13th, FA Trophy 2nd Round Proper, won 4-1 (A)

How many times am I going to have to think of sentences beginning with the letter 'X'?! After home and away league games vs Wrexham and Halifax, I thought/ hoped that I was done; instead, watch us win the FA Trophy, qualify for Europe (resurrection of the old Cup Winners' Cup … the Trophy Winners' Cup?), and get drawn in a group with Ajax, Auxerre, Xanthi, and Xerez!

A tricky looking tie - regardless of whether it turned out to be Halifax or Macclesfield - and one that I was always unlikely to attend; Craig and Macleod (M) looked into going but were ultimately deterred by train tickets costing £90 each - we'd paid £46 each in September - and instead went to Walton Casuals vs Ashford United (to run the rule over on-loan Maidenhead starlets Josh Kelly and Sean McCormack)

Late notice - we didn't find out that we were playing Halifax until the preceding Tuesday - was actually a good omen: we didn't find out that we were playing them until the Thursday, ahead of our famous Trophy win at the Shay in 2004

In the BDO World Championship Semi-Final at the Lakeside, live on Channel 4 ('please do not swear'), former champion Scott Waites was brushed aside by defending champion Glen Durrant; Waites' home town football team, meanwhile, were on the receiving end of a similar beat down

Fifty-seven was the official away attendance in September; just eighteen this time, which is perhaps not surprising bearing in mind the mitigating circumstances

A brace apiece for Moses Emmanuel and Harry Pritchard; the latter remains one of our most important players, while the former signs off in style (UPDATE: Moses' loan extended until the end of the season)

X-double-minus was, apparently, '60s slang for something terrible; Kidderminster Harriers or Stockport County at home, in the subsequent draw, certainly not X-double-minus

(Match highlights XXX)

^^^ Saturday 20th, National League, lost 3-2 (A)

The Cornmarket - a pub that I'd visited with the wife, when we stayed at the Heywood House Hotel for my birthday in 2012 - was our first port of call after arriving into Lime Street station, and meeting with Macleod (C), at half one on Friday afternoon

Roamed around Albert Dock, after checking into the Travelodge, with pints in the Pumphouse (meh) and the Baltic Fleet (decent ale selection, but pub quiet and a bit draughty)

A quick pit stop at the hotel - trainers replaced by shoes (lessons learned after Chester) and gloves/ hats/ scarves ditched (despite the bitterly cold wind) - before we hit Mathew Street (via one of several Wetherspoons)

Night of two distinct halves: in what felt like an instant - and much earlier than you would expect - we went from chatting with a middle-aged couple about the TransPennine Real Ale Trail (in the White Star) to downing shots and singing along to Radio Ga Ga with a party of Britney mask-wearing hens (they were a really decent bunch, TBF, and Legends one of the better venues in an area that can justifiably be described as 'the Magaluf of Merseyside')

Mad Fer It! Gallagher's in Birkenhead is, as Craig pointed out, an early contender for GMOSC Pub of the Year … not that I was able to fully appreciate it: drinking with a group of Caernarfon girls - with accents so strong that you could barely understand them - until 5am, back at the hotel bar, had seemed like a good idea at the time!

Expected big things from the Tranmere Rovers Trust's Fan Park, at the ground, and it didn't disappoint: flags, scarves, stickers, old replica shirts, vintage turnstiles as tables, chilli con carne, decent beer (or so I'm told) …

Reasonably happy, despite the result, as we gave a good account of ourselves (both on and off the pitch); they'll likely be there or thereabouts, come the end of the season, yet were time-wasting in the corner prior to the final whistle on Saturday

Everton and West Brom fans on our train; one or two of the Baggies were rather rowdy, but good-natured, and the return journey as a whole was relatively painless … I'm pleased to confirm that the carry out Calpol remained unopened!

(Match highlights here)

*** Saturday 27th, National League, won 3-0 (H)

Coxy (as in Jordan Cox, not David) was a lanky bundle of pace and aggression, and memorable goals (e.g. vs Eastbourne; at Bath), off the bench last season; a shame, therefore, that he left for Concord Rangers in the summer - although understandable bearing in mind that he lives in Southend and is a non-driver - but a shock, this week, when he moved to Basildon United of the Essex Senior League (that's the equivalent of the Hellenic Premier, i.e. Windsor's level!)

Hartlepool United not the only National League club that is in dire financial straits (having lived beyond its means?): ominous news emanating from the Deva Stadium as well

Even though we were tonked 4-0 at Torquay (under mitigating circumstances), our 2-0 capitulation at Chester in September remains the worst Magpies performance that I've seen this season (I missed the 3-0 home defeat vs Gateshead); avenging that result was imperative, particularly as this fixture had been earmarked by Craig - and others, I'm sure - as one of the 'four wins for fifty (points)'

Square pegs in round holes has been a feature of recent Maidenhead line-ups (through necessity as much as anything else), so it was a relief to see something approaching our first choice XI - with James Comley starting - and a reasonably strong bench

Two up within 14 minutes - another Harry Pritchard brace (incl. another expertly dispatched penalty) - and the away side down to ten men … not that you'd know it from the BBC Radio Berkshire commentary ;-)

Easy 3-0 win - the other goal, also in the first half, from the swashbuckling Sam Barratt - was just what the Doctor Ashley Nicholls ordered

R.I.P.X2: Jimmy Armfield (voted the best right-back at the 1962 World Cup; manager of Leeds United when they lost/ were cheated out of the European Cup Final in 1975; by some distance my favourite radio summariser) and Mark E. Smith (Murdo, for one, is a massive fan of The Fall) #legends

(Match highlights here)

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