Away Day Diary: Truro City 2-0 Maidenhead United (08/08/26)

Two Together railcards were supposed to be a thing of the past following our relegation back to the regionalised wastelands, or so Macleod (M) and I had thought; the first league fixture of 2026/27 proved us wrong, though, with Tesco Clubcard points helping me part-pay for another one to soften the (sadly predictable) eye-watering cost of Advance Singles ahead of our third visit to Cornwall's county town after legendary trips – one endured, one savoured – in 2011 and 2017 (a new ground this time, hence the blog post)

Risky to rely on the 06:03 from Maidenhead, as suggested by Trainline and the like, so Macleod (M) and I met at 05:15 (!) ahead of a chilly (albeit perhaps not quite as bad as feared) walk to the station – group photo with some of the travelling horde before catching the 05:56 Lizzy Line train and then the 06:25 GWR service from Reading to Penzance; conversation topics on the long, picturesque and at times boisterous journey included G.M.'s World Cup adventures in the States, that viral video of the Bridgwater United chairman (as we passed their ground), and Dirichlet's theorem on arithmetic progressions (don't ask!)

Under a baking sun, we walked downhill into the city centre and enjoyed our best pints of the day (Skinners, various) in Wetherspoons; the Old Ale House was next, and I was looking forward to re-visiting the place that had finished runner-up to Margate's Fez in our 2017 Pub of the Year vote … but it was a disappointment (and the start of the day turning to shit), with too many Pale Ales – and not good ones at that – alongside some of the most expensive craft beers we've ever seen (including a 3.2% Radler!)

Redeeming feature of the Old Ale House was the bus stop opposite, from where we caught the Park and Ride to the out-of-town ground; I was expecting a half-decent stadium but, after a 20-plus-minute drive into the sticks followed by a walk that seemed almost as long (and was minimally signposted), there was disappointment ... for neither the first nor the last time of the day

Only a few minutes on the clock when a ginger-haired prick of a steward aggressively told me off for temporarily standing on yellow lines to take a photo (and promptly accused me of being aggressive!); we then had to endure the celebrations of Wrong Ender knobheads in the "home end" (there was no segregation and we were stood behind the goal that MUFC was attacking – sound familiar?) as, with the match hitherto resembling two bald men fighting over a comb, a jaw-dropping gaffe from an actual bald man handed the Tinners a lead that they doubled soon afterwards

Coming back from two down never looked likely, despite the turquoise-shirted Magpies rallying for a spell immediately after the break; Josh Umerah – who wore the armband for a period during the second half, which perhaps says something about the dearth of natural leaders in the squad – had a goal correctly disallowed for handball and then a header somehow cleared off the line after good wing play from JML, but overall, Ryan Peters' men were soundly defeated by unremarkable opposition, with a display that was as abject as the home stewards were antagonistic (one of the travelling horde was harshly thrown out by hi-vis jobsworths who seemed intent on inflaming situations rather than calming them)

Into the sizeable Sainsbury's for a carry out before our 18:26 departure; G.M. and I were among those catching up on beauty sleep when we were woken with news that a technical fault meant our train would terminate at Plymouth

Thankfully, another train was waiting for us, but it became absolutely rammed at Bristol Temple Meads and subsequently lost time, meaning that we just missed our connection at Reading, with no trains to Maidenhead for nearly an hour (#shambles); more opportunity to discuss why this wasn't a good day out tainted by 90 minutes of football, as is sometimes the case, but rather a genuinely bad day that reminded us of the dreaded Drax Years *shudders*

Yours truly and Macleod (M) were afforded a lift from Maidenhead station to Cox Green in Rainey's pristine 1991 Jaguar XJ40; along with G.M.'s extraordinary spread on the outward train journey (assorted sandwiches; scones with jam and clotted cream; four bottles of Bucks Fizz; teas and coffees served in Costa cups with hot water supplied by a large urn resembling Lord Buckethead – which he mailed back to Berkshire from the Post Office in Truro!), this was by far the best thing about an away day that lasted more than 19 hours and marked a decidedly inauspicious start to the new campaign

(MUFC report; match highlights)

Miserable, on and off the pitch.

— Murdo Macleod (@MurdoMacleod6) August 8, 2026

Away Day Diary: Hornchurch 0-0 Maidenhead United (25/04/26)

Fancy Dresslemania XXIV

Having finally exhausted my list of costume ideas (or at least the half-decent ones), I suggested to the KSG in January that for Fancy Dresslemania XXIV we revisit those we'd previously worn at the athletics stadium in Upminster – it transpired that The Reverend Turner had better things to do with his time, but Adam Ant and Dame Edna Everage were keen, albeit to varying degrees! The aforementioned game, 22 years ago (almost to the day), was the first Fancy Dresslemania (IV) to have something riding on it; John Dreyer's Magpies required a positive result to secure Conference South qualification, which they ultimately achieved on the final day of that season, but this year's edition would be a step up in magnitude – following some unexpected outcomes in the penultimate weekend of fixtures, the home side had a chance to win the NLS title while Ryan Peters' charges needed three points, with a draw potentially enough depending on other results, to avoid finishing outside the play-offs … something he had previously said would constitute failure

Our outward journey went as planned: walk to the station (the only car horns were from two people we know); 09:00 Lizzy Line train from Maido (some fancy dressers jumped on the 08:56 GWR train, presumably because they were so excited; they missed out on an enlightening conversation with a young lady who was on her way to a Beltane-themed house party via a singing gig at a Catholic wedding in Mayfair); Hamilton Hall for pre-match beers (Sudhir was in there, en route to Southend; Aveley and Southampton fans denied entry, presumably cos Maidenhead had taken over); the 11:15 from Liverpool Street (the Quiet Zone was the party carriage – yoof gonna yoof); a walk in glorious sunshine to the stadium entrance on Abraham Court

Rubbish ground as we knew, although a better away section than Sl*ugh (cos of something called terracing); we had more of the play in the first half, although the Urchins had two or three very presentable chances and really should have been ahead at the break

News that Ebbsfleet were losing at Worthing (and Maidstone at Bath) meant the title was beyond Hornchurch, but a draw would be enough for us – cue a torturous second half for the 300 away fans ... one of those games where you just want to fast forward straight to the end

Celebrations – wild ones – at full time, born as much from relief as anything else; this is an unbalanced squad of players who have tripped themselves up at semi-regular intervals (blowing 2-0 leads to drop points vs Farnborough and at Sl*ugh ultimately costing us a shot at the title), but they have kept plugging away and deserve plaudits for reaching the post-season

Hot sun beat down as we sat outside the Windmill pub before trekking past an actual windmill to the Taproom (almost every passing car tooted at us, in stark contrast to our earlier walk in Maidenhead); my first visit to this highly thought-of micropub – it was good, albeit uncomfortably packed and with a strange layout (no bar)

Understandable reluctance to visit a BrewDog bar, especially one full of TOWIE sorts, as the Upminster branch inevitably was, but no other choice if you fancied watching the Arsenal game (which some of us did, albeit not Dame Edna, obvs); Eberechi Eze's early, ultimately match-winning strike made up for the overpriced pints and the lack of unreserved tables

Russell and Carl from Up, Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz (complete with self-plaited hair and spray-painted glittery shoes), and Adam Ant were Dame Edna's 'Best Costume' picks, as we made our way back via Paddington; difficult to argue with that assessment, although there were lots of good'uns, including Arthur Dent, Bob Willis, Shaun from Shaun of the Dead, Stone Cold Steve Austin, a bloodied and bandaged Terry Butcher ... and someone dressed as Macleod (M)! ;-)

Christmas songs on karaoke in the Portland Arms? Only Wham! was available, Santa stepped up as required ("I'll give it to Josh Umerah")

Having not yet had our fill of rubbish grounds – Sl*ugh and Chelmsford among them in recent weeks – it's now Dorking Wanderers on Wednesday night; they've been in poor form but will be favourites on their substandard artificial surface, although the Magpies beat them 2-0 last month (albeit at York Road, with an uninjured Liam Dulson to the fore) and have a puncher's chance of adding another high to what has been a rollercoaster of a season

(MUFC report; match highlights; more Fancy Dresslemania links)

Slough's "we-kept-Maidenhead-out-of-the-playoffs" bus parade – presumably cancelled. pic.twitter.com/IjfV4p6iPb

— ɢᴏ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴏʀ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ (@gomadstopcaring) April 26, 2026

Away Day Diary: Chippenham Town 1-0 Maidenhead United (28/02/26)

Conference South? Completed it, mate! This was the fifth and final new NLS ground for me to tick off this season – I'd missed both of the Magpies' previous visits to Hardenhuish Park: a 2-1 defeat in February 2007 (one of only four losses, to go with two draws and 17 wins, in the final 23 games of a memorable Southern League campaign that culminated in play-off final success vs Team Bath at Twerton Park), and a 1-1 draw in the FA Cup in October 2018 (a solitary goal from Adrian 'Yaya' Clifton decided the replay, setting up a televised home tie with Portsmouth in the 1st Round Proper ... which we lost 4-0)

Having been at the O2 Arena on Tuesday night as my youngest participated, alongside 8,000+ other primary school kids, in Young Voices (the largest children's choir in the world), Saturday's walk to Maidenhead station was my chance to hear all the details from Macleod (M) about MUFC's narrow but fully deserved home win vs Salisbury, which, coupled with other results, saw us enter the play-off positions for the first time under Ryan Peters; Wrexham in the Championship play-off positions, pre-Fancy Dresslemania fancy dress days, and mental capacity assessments were then topics of conversation on the packed train journey – we had to stand – from Reading ("It's really busy," said Macleod [M], before realising we were departing several hours later than usual)

Into Chippenham a few minutes behind schedule, it was sunny but cold as we walked past a giant puddle, Rivo Lounge, and countless charity shops to meet Steve H. – sitting with TWS and Connor – in the Flying Monk; two decent and reasonably-priced rounds in here, with discussion focused on the KSG's upcoming trip to Düsseldorf

Photos of the travelling horde outside the Wetherspoons, then we piled into the Prince of Wales micro pub to digest concerning team news over expensive pints – Jordon Ragguette and Matt Robinson only on the bench, no MWH, and Remy slated to start before dropping out altogether ...

Parsons, Harry – ex-Magpie – put the Bluebirds ahead from the spot and, after a lamentable first-half performance, the away side could have no complaints about the score: "We don't even deserve nil," was one withering assessment

Even though we were better after the break (we couldn't have been much worse!), with two justifiable shouts for penalties of our own as Freddie Grant (another ex-Magpie) handled twice, it was ultimately another disappointing and bewildering display in what has been a hitherto disappointing and bewildering season – summed up by us throwing on Robinson after 77 minutes when our best player should've started, or come on at half-time, or been left out entirely if he's as injured as his extensively-taped knees (note the plural) might suggest

No sense of urgency from the stewards when a home fan was floored by a seizure at full-time; thankfully, he eventually received the medical assistance required, and was reportedly able to walk out under his own steam – by which time we were sat in the beer garden of the Old Road Tavern ... JJ and I were literally on the hot seat!

Having decided to watch the Leeds game on TV, we walked beneath an Isambard Kingdom Brunel–designed viaduct to join TWS and Connor in the Black Horse; Antoine Semenyo scored seconds after we entered the pub! *rolls eyes*

Another round in the Old Road Tavern, the train home, and then the Portland; on karaoke, Macleod (M) sang All Together Now for Scouse Mick (as per), and I slaughtered Laughter in the Rain as a well-intentioned tribute to the late, great Neil Sedaka – although One Way Ticket (To the Blues) might've been more fitting

My mood on Sunday morning wasn't helped by reading about Wealdstone's shootout win at Kidderminster in the FA Trophy QF; I'm pleased for them, of course, but it was yet another stinging reminder – as if one were needed – of Maidenhead United's chronic underachievement

(MUFC report; match highlights)

Meanwhile, Maidenhead United – never ones to trouble the latter stages of a cup competition – were shitting the bed at bottom-of-the-table Chippenham Town. https://t.co/DEiBwELh9k

— ɢᴏ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴏʀ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ (@gomadstopcaring) March 1, 2026

Away Day (sort of) Diary: Tonbridge Angels 0-1 Maidenhead United (10/02/26)

The Magpies had played at Longmead Stadium before, the first game a 3-2 FA Trophy defeat in November 2002 (featuring, so I've been told, a legendary pre-match pub crawl with the highly unusual presence of Macleod [C]'s dad and a virtuoso performance in a losing effort from ex-Chelsea forward Mark Nicholls), but I was studying (ahem) in Bristol at the time, while THE DRAX YEARS explains my absence from the other visits (three in the Conference South between 2011 and 2014, the most recent a 4-2 win with Danny Green scoring all our goals), so this was one of five new NLS grounds for me in 2025/26 (hence this diary entry); with Macleod (M) cruising in the Caribbean (alright for some) and Willie T. also unavailable (quelle surprise), I decided to ditch the driving gloves and take the supporters' coach for the first time since our FA Cup defeat at Oxford United

Oik behaviour that brought the club into disrepute, not one but two new signings, and a previous coach driver inadvertently entering the wrong postcode into his Sat Nav ahead of a New Year's Day trip to Solihull Moors in 2018 – much to the annoyance at the time of Simon J., who was celebrating his 40th birthday on Tuesday – were among the talking points on an outward journey that started at 5pm in heavy rain; an accident on the M25 necessitated a detour via Dorking and Reigate, and it wasn't until twenty minutes before kick-off that we arrived at the ground … after first passing the church in Hildenborough where the Coombs were married in 1974!

Nice drop of SALT's Alpacalypse in the Angels Sports Bar, and my cheeseburger – when it finally arrived – was excellent, but the ground was peculiar; two decent covered ends, mind, making it more tolerable than the likes of Totton or Horsham

Better play from MUFC as the first half wore on, perhaps not coincidentally after a change in formation to a back four (following WDH's enforced substitution through injury); chances were at a premium though, with a well-struck but blocked Liam Dulson effort about as good as it got from our perspective

Ryan D. was standing alongside me in the second half, chomping on chips ("tasty"), as a mix-up between David Mantle and JvS preceded a Tonbridge player clipping the outside of our post with a deflected shot; the Magpies then hit the frame of the goal themselves, with a Josh Umerah (!) free kick crashing against the crossbar

I thought the referee's performance was passable (certainly in comparison to some of his colleagues' over the years), but those of a Kentish persuasion – perhaps exasperated by only two home wins all season – would vehemently disagree, judging by some post-match comments on X; in fairness, it did look – albeit from the other end – as though they should have had a penalty, but Mr Briers from Sussex awarded a free kick on the edge of the box for Matt Robinson's blatant tug on the shirt of ex-Magpie Ricky Korboa

Dulson and Josh Popoola – usually our main/ only attacking threats – both had off nights, and the team wearing red became increasingly disjointed, particularly after the withdrawal of Umerah; meanwhile, one of the Tonbridge subs had a dangerous long throw, and the Angels looked more likely to score as the game approached its final stages … indeed, everyone in the ground fully expected JvS' net to bulge in added time, only for the giant Dutchman to repel a weak shot from close range – much to the relief of the travelling horde

Gleeful celebrations shortly afterwards, when – from what was possibly Popoola's first truly decent set-piece delivery of the night – Robinson capped off another standout individual performance by heading home his third winning goal of the season, two of which came post-90 minutes; it was said that the 2022 MOBO Best Grime Act nominee will be back to boss the Magpies midfield next season – great news if true ("Alexa, play Simon & Garfunkel")

Even though Sl*ugh had won their third game in a row and we had to detour again from the M25 (this time past Hampton Court Palace), the mood on the return journey was jovial … as you might expect after a 94th-minute winner; talk turned to Saturday's match at Torquay – with more rain forecast it might get postponed, but if not, it will be interesting to see how the table-toppers react after losing to bottom side Chippenham in a result that, perhaps as much as Maidenhead United sitting only one place outside the play-offs, sums up an unpredictable league of individual quality but collective mediocrity

(MUFC report; match highlights)

That one hurts. In a game we did everything but score, Maidenhead win it with a late sucker punch. pic.twitter.com/cnzRApxFki

— Tonbridge Angels (@tonbridgeangels) February 10, 2026

Away Day Diary: Horsham 1-2 Maidenhead United (03/01/26)

Humiliating defeats so unbearable that they come to define an era? Drax had been in charge for more than a year, and had a promotion via the playoffs under his belt, when he presided over one; in contrast, Ryan Peters only replaced Dev as manager about a month ago, so it is far too early to say, but the Magpies' 3–1 home defeat to Sl*ugh on Boxing Day was so excruciatingly awful – more than 2,800 were there as Josh Umerah's goal gave us an early lead against our relegation-threatened local rivals, who then played the entire second half (and scored twice) with ten men, in the first league match at York Road between the sides in exactly 25 years – that the wounds will take some time to heal (if they ever do) ... TBH, if our first game of the new year weren't taking place at a different ground to that infamous FA Cup defeat in 2007 (the Hornets sold Queen Street, their home since 1904, to property developers and moved out in 2008), I'd have found something else to do with my time

Our outward journey was as convoluted as the one to Humpton last month, with changes at Paddington and Oxford Circus en route to catch – with seconds to spare (no thanks to another slow-running GWR 'fast' train) – the 10:35 from Victoria to Portsmouth Harbour; discussion points included the slew of incredible non-league attendances over Christmas (plus 4,946 at Bromley vs Newport on New Year's Day), the fact that Macleod (M) would have had more – and me as many – new grounds to attend if the Magpies had managed to stay in the National League rather than being relegated to a division they last competed in eight years ago (thanks to the National League South 'perma dross'), and belated postponements (with Southend vs Truro still to come!)

Remarkably good pints in the Black Jug – Longman's Old Man, arguably the best beers of the entire day – kicked off an enjoyable pre-match pub crawl, which continued as follows: Pirie's Bar (where Macleod [M] could only name four of the five U.K. number ones by The Police; Stuart joined us just as we were leaving), the Anchor Tap (decent pints of Surrey Hills' Albury Ruby; our first sighting of some bloke wearing a Mousehole AFC scarf), the Bear (we had walked past a Brook Taverner store with a photo of Remy in its window; J.B., Chris Rad. and C.B. were already in situ), and an aborted visit to Wetherspoons (voted – I was subsequently informed by a steward at the football – the worst in Sussex ... and understandably so, as the inept bar staff encourage single-line queuing despite claiming that they don't!)

Shorter bus ride than we were expecting (the queue at the turnstiles probably lasted longer), which prompted the following hypothetical question: Dartford's impressive ground at an out-of-town-but-reasonably-accessible location like Horsham's (say, Taplow for MUFC), or Horsham's basic ground (with the clubhouse end having one of the strangest behind-the-goal configurations you'll come across) at the recently proposed location for New York Road? The former is the correct answer – indeed, Macleod (M) told Jon Adams he wouldn't watch Maidenhead United at a version of the Hop Oast Stadium Fusion Aviation Community Stadium, situated between the big mound of earth and the dump at "beautiful Braywick Park" … if it ever came to that (which hopefully it won't)

Half-time report: my sustenance (chilli and chips) was tasty but expensive; L.B. seemed pleased to receive a belated Christmas gift of some of the original (?) MUFC stickers; the home side scored their penalty – harshly awarded according to Berkshire Hornet, a QPR fan from Horsham who has lived in Tilehurst since 2011 – whereas Liam Dulson saw his saved (by a goalkeeper clad in bright pink whose physique reminded me of Scott Tarr #IYKYK)

A wolf supermoon was visible through the trees to our left during the second half as we watched a carbon copy of our 2–1 win over the same opponents at York Road on the August Bank Holiday (when I was sunning myself in Crete) – once more the Magpies were a side transformed after the break, with Umerah again a difference-maker off the bench and Josh Popoola crossing for a headed goal, although this time the latter's fancy footwork created an equaliser (for MWH at the back post) rather than the winner; that glory went to midfield maestro Matt Robinson, with a worldie from distance as time expired – perhaps even better than Popoola's recent wonder goal at Humpton! :-O

Mousehole Simon – a lapsed Tooting & Mitcham fan from Cheam who now travels twice a month (!) to cheer on the Seagulls at home matches in Cornwall (after watching a YouTube documentary about the club during lockdown) – sat with us during the first half of Bournemouth vs Arsenal on TV in the Horsham bar (its walls decorated with framed shirts, programmes, photos of the Men's and Women's teams, etc. – MUFC take note), before we got the bus back into town and headed to the Anchor Hotel (Greene King, but it had the football on; Declan Rice's brace making up for the substandard beers) and the Anchor Tap for a second time (top boozer) en route to the station; conversation topics with Phil W. on the return journey included best Pixies songs (not Monkey Gone to Heaven seemed to be the only consensus), whether Maya Jama supports Bristol Rovers (answer: yes ... at least to some extent), and 'favourite National League away days' – that's days, not results or performances, hence our 4–0 defeat at Gateshead in fancy dress got a mention … as will Horsham, in the future, when 'favourite 2025/26 away days' crops up (memorable as it was for the right reasons, this time, unlike in 2007)

(MUFC report; match highlights)

https://t.co/fbnRMkxjvk pic.twitter.com/PyrwyOfp8B

— ɢᴏ ᴍᴀᴅ ᴏʀ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴄᴀʀɪɴɢ (@gomadstopcaring) January 4, 2026

Away Day (sort of) Diary: AFC Totton 2-1 Maidenhead United (04/11/25)

After six consecutive wins, featuring as many scrappy and/ or fortuitous victories (Maidstone; Worthing) as there were performances suggesting a possible title challenge (Dover; Bath – the latter so good I'm starting to think it was a dream), Josh Umerah hobbling off with a troublesome knee injury and JvS flapping at a corner (again) contributed to a 1–0 home loss to previously winless Eastbourne Borough, and the Magpies – as we're frustratingly prone to do – segued seamlessly from a good run into a bad one (P4 W0 D1 L3 F1 A4 in the league before Tuesday night); I'd been at the Eastbourne game and had planned to attend the home fixture vs Tonbridge Angels the following Tuesday, but ultimately decided to go to the Barley Mow pub quiz with my Dad instead because of the latest Ticketpass debacle (MUFC's continued use of 'the ethical ticketing platform', despite being fully aware of its reliability issues, is exasperating; charging full price for the Tonbridge fixture – when fans couldn't even buy discounted tickets online – reinforced, for me, a sense of general incompetence and persistent disregard for everyday supporters)

For various reasons, I had annual leave booked on the Tuesday, so my first thought, naturally, was a pub crawl (train to St Denys via Southampton Airport Parkway and then the likes of the Bookshop Alehouse, the Guide Dog, and the Beards & Boards Craft Beer Bar – don't laugh! – en route to the bus stop closest to the Giddy Bridge in Southampton city centre), but an unreschedulable work meeting came up for Willie T. (the same thing happened to me – honest! – when we were supposed to see Sleeper in Oxford last month), so I offered to drive; Macleod (M) and I left at 17:15 on a journey characterised by roadworks and rain, and soundtracked towards the end by radio commentary of Arsenal's comfortable win at Slavia Prague

Concord Rangers and Poole Town were among the small number of clubs mentioned in response to 'Worse National League South grounds than this,' after we'd parked in a large puddle on an industrial estate and followed the gated, muddied gravel path past AFC Totton Prestige Hand Car Wash to the Snows Stadium turnstiles; the Stags' home has presumably changed considerably – for the better – since Paul Canoville ran amok for the Magpies here in a pre-season friendly in the summer of 1990, but there are no covered standing areas (an inconvenience as rain fell again at the start of both halves), and the End we were initially attacking had only two shallow steps of terracing behind its goal ("You've got a worse ground than Slough Town")

The Maidenhead Pele™ looked to have been fouled in the area early on, though those wearing blue were the better side in the opening stages, and we were rather fortunate that the deficit was only one – a scrappy-looking goal from a corner needlessly conceded by Ryan Bartley and defended with the six-yard-box authority (or lack thereof) we've come to expect from JvS; however, after the referee had awarded us a penalty for a clear foul on Jordon Ragguette, duly dispatched by Umerah (who didn't look fit), we played much better for the rest of the half and put concerted pressure on their goal, manned by a nervy-looking ex-Bristol Rovers keeper whose haircut was mercilessly mocked – to the tune of The Cranberries' Zombie – by the travelling support

Out inexplicably early for the second half, with Remy Clerima – fresh from an appearance on Monday night in the abomination that is the Baller League – replacing a presumably injured Manny Onariase, the Magpies continued on the front foot but appeared incapable of turning possession into goals, and I got the distinct impression that the players were as aware as the fans of the probable script: huff and puff, fail to score (or even trouble the opposing keeper), and concede an eminently preventable one at the other end

That's what happened, of course, with Kai Yearn – otherwise composed, if a little lightweight, in central midfield – keeping the ball in play but in doing so gifting it to the opposition, who sliced us open with infuriating ease (Bartley, once again, not covering himself in glory); after that, they looked more likely to score a third than us an equaliser – not even the introduction of Sam Barratt and, umm, that was it for attacking subs, could turn the tide (you might be unsurprised to learn)

The entire squad got an on-field and expletive-laden earful from the manager, if not the fans, after the final whistle, but it felt a bit performative to me; these are players – many of them, no doubt, relatively expensive – signed and selected by Dev, so he deserves as much criticism as them, IMO, and the onus is on him to make the necessary changes to right the ship

Our return journey wasn't much better than the outward slog – lack of rain aside – with the closure of Junction 2 on the M27 forcing a detour via Romsey; not even news of Slough in the relegation zone (after conceding their 30th, 31st and 32nd league goals of the season) could cheer us, and conversation turned to non-football things (gigs, for example – I still can't quite believe that Goldie Lookin Chain at Sub89 on Friday is a sell-out and we haven't got tickets!)

No longer does the promise of a new stadium (Braywick is seemingly back on) represent a light at the end of the tunnel, at least as far as I'm concerned ("We'll probably end up with the ground-move equivalent of taking £4m instead of £8m"); upcoming away trips to Leamington (in the Trophy) and Winslow (in the B&B) now stand out as small beacons of light in the gloom of a season that increasingly feels wasted, thoroughly dispiriting, and possibly legacy-tarnishing :-(

(MUFC report; match highlights)

Better than some other recent efforts but still not good enough to gain any points.
We look bereft of confidence and leaders across the pitch. Too many not doing enough.
Stuck in a rut.

— Murdo Macleod (@MurdoMacleod6) November 4, 2025

Away Day Diary: Enfield Town 0-0 Maidenhead United (16/08/25)

Even though, as recently as April, I was claiming there'd be no more 'bog-standard' (i.e. non-Fancy Dresslemania) Away Day Diaries, here I am – the day before flying to Crete on holiday – prattling on about our very first away game since returning to the regionalised wastelands! (How about new grounds only, including FA Cup and Trophy matches? Deal!)

Not until after I'd messaged Macleod (M), Fuzz and Stuart on Monday with train times and a pub crawl route did the wife remind me of a pre-holiday appointment that (1) she'd booked in May, (2) she couldn't rearrange, and (3) I'd apparently known about; my dad couldn't look after the kids, as he was away camping in Cromer, so Plan B was for me to give Macleod (M) a lift after she'd finished

Fifty-eight minutes after leaving home, we'd parked up on a residential street somewhere near the centre of the triangle formed by the three pubs I'd earmarked for pre-match; topics of conversation on the journey along the remarkably clear M25 included a three-day juice cleanse, inadvertent Audio Description on Craig's TV, and the L.A.V. at Botany Bay (#IYKYK)

Into the first pub – the Wonder, decent boozer this one and the best of the bunch – just before midday, soon joined by Fuzz and then Stuart; Rivertown's Reed proved popular as we endured a Landfill Indie soundtrack, discussing not-Landfill-Indie bands like Butthole Surfers while Fuzz proudly sported a newly-purchased Gibby Haynes tour t-shirt from his gig on Friday night at the Islington Assembly Hall

Efficient use of outside space at pub #2, which happened to be the local Wetherspoons; former Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd's name cropped up as someone who is still alive despite the fact you could've sworn they'd passed away several years ago, a reminder that sometimes our memories are more unreliable than we'd like to think!

Last of the pre-match watering holes was the Jolly Butchers, where J.B., Chris Rad. and C.B. had been watching the Villa-Newcastle game on TV; Fuzz pointed out that the headband-clad Anthony Gordon looked like Vitas Gerulaitis, who won the men's singles title at the Australian Open in 1977 and is responsible for one of the greatest sporting quotes of all-time

Donkey Lane's car park – sandwiched between the ground and public playing fields – was sizeable and free, which was a pleasant surprise but also a stark reminder that we're not in the National League anymore; after photos outside the art deco-style pavilion, we paid the £16 admission fees and made our belated entry into the re-purposed athletics stadium, complete with long jump pits covered by tarpaulins

The red-shirted Magpies dominated proceedings, as I munched on a tasty chicken souvlaki wrap, and should've been ahead at the interval: Sam Barratt hit the bar with a lob (pulling a hamstring in the process), the generally dreadful referee inexplicably failed to award us a penalty for a clear handball, and Josh Umerah had a one-on-one chance saved after a quick-thinking through ball from the industrious Asher Yearwood

Our hosts – who, TBF, have made the best of their surroundings – seemed to approach the game as if they'd be delighted with a point, and that's what they got; the visitors from Berkshire huffed and puffed, controlling most of the play after the break but failing to force a meaningful save from the opposition keeper, with skipper Will De Havilland heading a glorious chance over the bar in the 92nd minute

Worrying times, in truth, as our playing budget likely dwarfs that of supporter-owned Enfield Town, so a goalless draw here, on the back of last week's similarly disappointing home defeat to Chesham United, isn't good enough (no disrespect to those teams); the mood among the travelling fans – stood on the rooftop terrace after the final whistle, including Ryan D. in limited edition Adidas 'Sulley' trainers – was one of mounting frustration and disillusionment with an amateurishly-run football club that continues to squander money

No traffic on the return journey meant we were home by 8pm, which was a silver lining; my next game will probably be Dover away at the end of the month, and it's a sad indictment that I'm not at all confident we'll pick up many points from the three matches before then – hey ho, yamas!

(MUFC report; match highlights)

all to see a 0-0 at enfield with maidenhead i’m gonna kms

— jimbo slice (@payroll_carti) August 17, 2025