"As for Maidenhead, the conga (which was amusing) aside, some of the oddest chants I've ever heard at a football match" ~ localboy86, Apr. 2015

Wednesday, 25 March 2026

Away Day Diary: Düsseldorf (March 2026)


First discussed at Solihull Steve's big birthday party in September 2024, when the mooted destination was Stuttgart, we eventually settled on Düsseldorf owing to more flight and accommodation options, and Macleod (M) sorted these last October; I had my heart set on tickets for the VfL Bochum vs Holstein Kiel game on Sunday (as we'd already been to Fortuna Düsseldorf's ground, albeit to see Bayer Leverkusen play Werder Bremen, on my stag do in 2009), so was delighted when some in the away end went on general sale in the days leading up to our departure, and I was awake at 4am – like a kid on Christmas morn – ahead of my Dad giving the Macleods and me a lift to Heathrow T5

Rye River's Brogue Irish Red Ale for Macleod (M), Cervecería Malteza's Session IPA for me, and a pint of the black stuff for Macleod (C) in Wetherspoons, with Teddy Sheringham for company, before a short flight – it took us almost as long to get from the Flughafen to the Hauptbahnhof as from LHR to DUS! Fortunately, the Ibis was right next to the station, with a door from the concourse straight into the hotel reception, and the renowned Brauerei Schumacher just ten minutes' walk away

In glorious sunshine, we strolled past Shawarma City (one of the rare times there wasn't a lengthy queue snaking around the block) and Graf-Adolf-Platz, up Königsallee (with one expensive electric car after another being charged on the street) and along Benrather Straße, through Carlsplatz Markt (where I'd been with my wife and both sets of parents back in 2012) to the Rheinuferpromenade (with sheep grazing on the opposite side of the river); drinks outside Im Goldenen Ring on Burgplatz, with a view of a noisy but seemingly peaceful rally in support of Reza Pahlavi

Down to Bilk on the U-Bahn, then a short walk to Tigges, where Kev would join us in the beer garden; Stadion an der Feuerbachstraße – home of TuRU Düsseldorf – was a 15-minute walk along the street of the same name, with the Düssel running alongside

Absolute shock at the quality of the football – I think we were all anticipating the level of this Landesliga Niederrhein, Gruppe 1 fixture (TuRU vs SC Velbert) to resemble Maidenhead Nomads Reserves (no disrespect intended, obvs.), but we were in for a pleasant surprise: no hoofs, barely a misplaced pass (as Die Tauben – The Doves – ran out 4-1 winners against their mid-table opponents), and some genuinely tidy players (not least the home side's number six); the ground also reminded me, in a good way, of 80s-era York Road – crumbling terraces, rows of wooden benches in the stand, and trains rattling past with regularity

Yawns becoming increasingly frequent after a long day, we stopped off at the hotel for a quick freshen-up, then headed to the Altstadt and to Fatty's (where we'd practically lived during my stag weekend ... and which, not coincidentally, has a Maidenhead United scarf among hundreds on the ceiling); we joined others in cheering Bournemouth's equaliser on TV, then Macleod (M) retired to bed while the rest of us found our way to another Irish bar (Sutton's) and finally a Chinese restaurant, after struggling to locate the place where Willie T. had memorably sung karaoke all those years ago


Station McDonald's for breakfast before mistakenly catching a slow train to Oberhausen (the journey took over an hour, i.e. about four times as long as I believe it could've); we then missed the bus to the football ground by seconds, after struggling to find the correct platform, so decided to walk … the sun was shining after all

After trekking past a historic water tower and under the Middlesbrough-Brücken, and enjoying a drink outside Schloss Gastronomie Kaisergarten, we made our way over the Rhein-Herne-Kanal on the Slinky Springs to Fame and entered Niederrheinstadion; four Currywurst mit Pommes – I enjoyed the thinly sliced sausage, although I found it odd that the chips were on top rather than underneath – washed down with four beers, and then we took our seats (EUR 18 each) for the first half of Rot-Weiß Oberhausen (Die Kleeblätter – The Clovers) vs SC Wiedenbrück in Regionalliga West

Two-one the final score, with the bottom-of-the-table visitors scoring a late consolation against their hosts (2nd, six points off the top) in a game as low on quality as the previous night's had been unexpectedly high; we spent much of the second half standing in the shade on the opposite side of the ground, I went behind the goal with the flag- and scarf-waving ultras for some photos, while Kev and Macleod (C) were sat with beers outside Fankneipe by Hoti's (Hoti's Fan Bar) before the final whistle had even sounded!

Unquestionably, for me, our time spent in Hoti's – both outside in the sunshine and indoors, watching Soccer Samstag on TV and a long queue of female admirers waiting to chat with Capo Sebastian (with an RWO club badge prominently tattooed on his exposed left leg), all surrounded by framed shirts and other football memorabilia on the walls – was the highlight of the entire trip; and helped by news that Dillon De Silva had put the Magpies ahead at York Road, Marc White had received his marching orders at half-time, and a trademark Liam Dulson thunderbolt had sealed a 2-0 win against league leaders Dorking Wanderers ("UP THE MAGS!")

Red lipstick-wearing brunette, standing behind us at the bus stop, wearing the identical RWO t-shirt ("Wo mein Herz schlägt") I'd picked up for EUR 10 at half-time, confirmed that we were in the right place to catch number 966 to the station; this, it transpired, was Inga, a volunteer Supporter Liaison Officer, who offered on the bus to take us for drinks before our train and, after we accepted, led us to Falstaff (stairs to the toilets decked with enough scaffolding to give UK Health & Safety Inspectors a catastrophic heart attack)

Decidedly quicker return journey on the regional train – thanks, Inga! – preceded a sit-down meal of Turkish pizzas at Urfa Lahmacun & Kebabhaus, then beers at the bar of the Mercure City Center Hotel … with a re-run of Solihull Moors vs Halifax showing on DAZN

A rejuvenated Macleod (M) was up for more hijinks, so while Kev and Macleod (C) headed for their respective rooms, he and I found somewhere open for another round or two: +852 Bar, a "Hong Kong-style" place (which was OK)

Yielding, finally, to tiredness, I was probably fast asleep and snoring loudly almost as soon as my head hit the pillow – it had been another long but thoroughly enjoyable day


Station McDonald's for breakfast (second of three visits in as many days), a regional train to Bochum Hbf, and then a short U-Bahn ride to Ritterburg ("a must-visit for football fans, especially before a VfL Bochum home game"); I knew this place would be good, certainly on a sunny day like it was on Sunday, and it didn't disappoint – pre-match beers within sight of the Ruhrstadion were another highlight of the trip

Unbelievably, Die Störche – The Storks – from Kiel, who we'd seen host Jahn Regensburg almost 11 years ago to the day and who were second from bottom of the 2. Bundesliga at the start of play, led Uwe Rösler's home side three times and ran out winners by the odd goal in five to move away from the relegation zone; as I said to Macleod (M), there would have been absolute scenes in England among the away fans, but this lot were quickly back to flag-waving, seat-stickering, and drumming (stood behind a fence with no view of the pitch!) after the goals went in … but I'm pleased for them that they won, not least the father and son in Oasis t-shirts, whom I chatted with at half-time

New scarf for Macleod (M) – I said he couldn't buy one before going into the away end! – then back to Ritterburg for more beers; my plan had been to get the U-Bahn to the lively Bermudadreieck part of town, but the trains were running late and absolutely packed when they finally arrived, so Kev ordered us an Uber

Dinner at Bratwursthaus ("the best Currywurst in the world," reportedly), then to the THREE SIXTY sports bar to watch Kepa Arrizabalaga hand Manchester City the League Cup; an unused VfL Bochum vs Holstein Kiel match poster, given as a parting gift by the bar staff, cheered me up … "ein bisschen"

A whole host of unforgettable characters – including a Jimmy Saville lookalike wearing a Kutte – at Hopfendolde ("This is the German Anchor!"), close to the station, before a carryout ("It's a MiXery!") and our train back to Düsseldorf; then more beers, food (kimchi fried rice), and black-and-white group photos in a South Korean bar on Oststraße

Yours truly insisted on visiting Shawarma City for more food (still a queue in the early hours of Monday morning, though shorter than on previous occasions we'd wandered past), which we took back and ate at the hotel ... after skirting a phalanx of police vans parked by "Germany's most beautiful traffic island"


Macleod (M) passed on Kev's goodbyes in the morning, as the man from Dumfries had an earlier flight from a different airport; a final Station McDonald's breakfast before we caught the train – the right one this time (S11, not S1) – to DUS

Our return flight was another good'un – 50 minutes in the air – and soon we were munching on meal deals at T5, figuring out how to get home …

Not one, not two, but three bus rides later (Heathrow T5 to Windsor Castle > Windsor Castle to Maidenhead town centre > Maidenhead town centre to Cox Green), Macleod (M) and I were finally back on Highfield Lane (having left Macleod [C] at Frascati Way) – "I wouldn't want to do that journey when in a hurry, but we had time to kill," said Macleod (M) … whereas my wife commented, "Why'd you not get a taxi like normal people?" :-D

Düsseldorf again in October, or next March? For sure – it's much better than the likes of Hamburg and Munich, IMHO

Agreement that we'd like to stay in the same hotel as well, and an expectation of three more new grounds to visit – hopefully as good as TuRU, RWO and VfL Bochum, although that trio will take some beating, so we might need to change our tactic and let the fixtures dictate the date

You never know – we might even make it to a Borussia Dortmund game one of these days! ;-)

Monday, 2 March 2026

Away Day Diary: Chippenham Town 1-0 Maidenhead United (28/02/26)


Conference South? Completed it, mate! This was the fifth and final new NLS ground for me to tick off this season – I'd missed both of the Magpies' previous visits to Hardenhuish Park: a 2-1 defeat in February 2007 (one of only four losses, to go with two draws and 17 wins, in the final 23 games of a memorable Southern League campaign that culminated in play-off final success vs Team Bath at Twerton Park), and a 1-1 draw in the FA Cup in October 2018 (a solitary goal from Adrian 'Yaya' Clifton decided the replay, setting up a televised home tie with Portsmouth in the 1st Round Proper ... which we lost 4-0)

Having been at the O2 Arena on Tuesday night as my youngest participated, alongside 8,000+ other primary school kids, in Young Voices (the largest children's choir in the world), Saturday's walk to Maidenhead station was my chance to hear all the details from Macleod (M) about MUFC's narrow but fully deserved home win vs Salisbury, which, coupled with other results, saw us enter the play-off positions for the first time under Ryan Peters; Wrexham in the Championship play-off positions, pre-Fancy Dresslemania fancy dress days, and mental capacity assessments were then topics of conversation on the packed train journey – we had to stand – from Reading ("It's really busy," said Macleod [M], before realising we were departing several hours later than usual)

Into Chippenham a few minutes behind schedule, it was sunny but cold as we walked past a giant puddle, Rivo Lounge, and countless charity shops to meet Steve H. – sitting with TWS and Connor – in the Flying Monk; two decent and reasonably-priced rounds in here, with discussion focused on the KSG's upcoming trip to Düsseldorf

Photos of the travelling horde outside the Wetherspoons, then we piled into the Prince of Wales micro pub to digest concerning team news over expensive pints – Jordon Ragguette and Matt Robinson only on the bench, no MWH, and Remy slated to start before dropping out altogether ...

Parsons, Harry – ex-Magpie – put the Bluebirds ahead from the spot and, after a lamentable first-half performance, the away side could have no complaints about the score: "We don't even deserve nil," was one withering assessment

Even though we were better after the break (we couldn't have been much worse!), with two justifiable shouts for penalties of our own as Freddie Grant (another ex-Magpie) handled twice, it was ultimately another disappointing and bewildering display in what has been a hitherto disappointing and bewildering season – summed up by us throwing on Robinson after 77 minutes when our best player should've started, or come on at half-time, or been left out entirely if he's as injured as his extensively-taped knees (note the plural) might suggest

No sense of urgency from the stewards when a home fan was floored by a seizure at full-time; thankfully, he eventually received the medical assistance required, and was reportedly able to walk out under his own steam – by which time we were sat in the beer garden of the Old Road Tavern ... JJ and I were literally on the hot seat!

Having decided to watch the Leeds game on TV, we walked beneath an Isambard Kingdom Brunel–designed viaduct to join TWS and Connor in the Black Horse; Antoine Semenyo scored seconds after we entered the pub! *rolls eyes*

Another round in the Old Road Tavern, the train home, and then the Portland; on karaoke, Macleod (M) sang All Together Now for Scouse Mick (as per), and I slaughtered Laughter in the Rain as a well-intentioned tribute to the late, great Neil Sedaka – although One Way Ticket (To the Blues) might've been more fitting

My mood on Sunday morning wasn't helped by reading about Wealdstone's shootout win at Kidderminster in the FA Trophy QF; I'm pleased for them, of course, but it was yet another stinging reminder – as if one were needed – of Maidenhead United's chronic underachievement


Wednesday, 11 February 2026

Away Day (sort of) Diary: Tonbridge Angels 0-1 Maidenhead United (10/02/26)


The Magpies had played at Longmead Stadium before, the first game a 3-2 FA Trophy defeat in November 2002 (featuring, so I've been told, a legendary pre-match pub crawl with the highly unusual presence of Macleod [C]'s dad and a virtuoso performance in a losing effort from ex-Chelsea forward Mark Nicholls), but I was studying (ahem) in Bristol at the time, while THE DRAX YEARS explains my absence from the other visits (three in the Conference South between 2011 and 2014, the most recent a 4-2 win with Danny Green scoring all our goals), so this was one of five new NLS grounds for me in 2025/26 (hence this diary entry); with Macleod (M) cruising in the Caribbean (alright for some) and Willie T. also unavailable (quelle surprise), I decided to ditch the driving gloves and take the supporters' coach for the first time since our FA Cup defeat at Oxford United

Oik behaviour that brought the club into disrepute, not one but two new signings, and a previous coach driver inadvertently entering the wrong postcode into his Sat Nav ahead of a New Year's Day trip to Solihull Moors in 2018 – much to the annoyance at the time of Simon J., who was celebrating his 40th birthday on Tuesday – were among the talking points on an outward journey that started at 5pm in heavy rain; an accident on the M25 necessitated a detour via Dorking and Reigate, and it wasn't until twenty minutes before kick-off that we arrived at the ground … after first passing the church in Hildenborough where the Coombs were married in 1974!

Nice drop of SALT's Alpacalypse in the Angels Sports Bar, and my cheeseburger – when it finally arrived – was excellent, but the ground was peculiar; two decent covered ends, mind, making it more tolerable than the likes of Totton or Horsham

Better play from MUFC as the first half wore on, perhaps not coincidentally after a change in formation to a back four (following WDH's enforced substitution through injury); chances were at a premium though, with a well-struck but blocked Liam Dulson effort about as good as it got from our perspective

Ryan D. was standing alongside me in the second half, chomping on chips ("tasty"), as a mix-up between David Mantle and JvS preceded a Tonbridge player clipping the outside of our post with a deflected shot; the Magpies then hit the frame of the goal themselves, with a Josh Umerah (!) free kick crashing against the crossbar

I thought the referee's performance was passable (certainly in comparison to some of his colleagues' over the years), but those of a Kentish persuasion – perhaps exasperated by only two home wins all season – would vehemently disagree, judging by some post-match comments on X; in fairness, it did look – albeit from the other end – as though they should have had a penalty, but Mr Briers from Sussex awarded a free kick on the edge of the box for Matt Robinson's blatant tug on the shirt of ex-Magpie Ricky Korboa

Dulson and Josh Popoola – usually our main/ only attacking threats – both had off nights, and the team wearing red became increasingly disjointed, particularly after the withdrawal of Umerah; meanwhile, one of the Tonbridge subs had a dangerous long throw, and the Angels looked more likely to score as the game approached its final stages … indeed, everyone in the ground fully expected JvS' net to bulge in added time, only for the giant Dutchman to repel a weak shot from close range – much to the relief of the travelling horde

Gleeful celebrations shortly afterwards, when – from what was possibly Popoola's first truly decent set-piece delivery of the night – Robinson capped off another standout individual performance by heading home his third winning goal of the season, two of which came post-90 minutes; it was said that the 2022 MOBO Best Grime Act nominee will be back to boss the Magpies midfield next season – great news if true ("Alexa, play Simon & Garfunkel")

Even though Sl*ugh had won their third game in a row and we had to detour again from the M25 (this time past Hampton Court Palace), the mood on the return journey was jovial … as you might expect after a 94th-minute winner; talk turned to Saturday's match at Torquay – with more rain forecast it might get postponed, but if not, it will be interesting to see how the table-toppers react after losing to bottom side Chippenham in a result that, perhaps as much as Maidenhead United sitting only one place outside the play-offs, sums up an unpredictable league of individual quality but collective mediocrity


Tuesday, 6 January 2026

Away Day Diary: Horsham 1-2 Maidenhead United (03/01/26)


Humiliating defeats so unbearable that they come to define an era? Drax had been in charge for more than a year, and had a promotion via the playoffs under his belt, when he presided over one; in contrast, Ryan Peters only replaced Dev as manager about a month ago, so it is far too early to say, but the Magpies' 3–1 home defeat to Sl*ugh on Boxing Day was so excruciatingly awful – more than 2,800 were there as Josh Umerah's goal gave us an early lead against our relegation-threatened local rivals, who then played the entire second half (and scored twice) with ten men, in the first league match at York Road between the sides in exactly 25 years – that the wounds will take some time to heal (if they ever do) ... TBH, if our first game of the new year weren't taking place at a different ground to that infamous FA Cup defeat in 2007 (the Hornets sold Queen Street, their home since 1904, to property developers and moved out in 2008), I'd have found something else to do with my time

Our outward journey was as convoluted as the one to Humpton last month, with changes at Paddington and Oxford Circus en route to catch – with seconds to spare (no thanks to another slow-running GWR 'fast' train) – the 10:35 from Victoria to Portsmouth Harbour; discussion points included the slew of incredible non-league attendances over Christmas (plus 4,946 at Bromley vs Newport on New Year's Day), the fact that Macleod (M) would have had more – and me as many – new grounds to attend if the Magpies had managed to stay in the National League rather than being relegated to a division they last competed in eight years ago (thanks to the National League South 'perma dross'), and belated postponements (with Southend vs Truro still to come!)

Remarkably good pints in the Black JugLongman's Old Man, arguably the best beers of the entire day – kicked off an enjoyable pre-match pub crawl, which continued as follows: Pirie's Bar (where Macleod [M] could only name four of the five U.K. number ones by The Police; Stuart joined us just as we were leaving), the Anchor Tap (decent pints of Surrey Hills' Albury Ruby; our first sighting of some bloke wearing a Mousehole AFC scarf), the Bear (we had walked past a Brook Taverner store with a photo of Remy in its window; J.B., Chris Rad. and C.B. were already in situ), and an aborted visit to Wetherspoons (voted – I was subsequently informed by a steward at the football – the worst in Sussex ... and understandably so, as the inept bar staff encourage single-line queuing despite claiming that they don't!)

Shorter bus ride than we were expecting (the queue at the turnstiles probably lasted longer), which prompted the following hypothetical question: Dartford's impressive ground at an out-of-town-but-reasonably-accessible location like Horsham's (say, Taplow for MUFC), or Horsham's basic ground (with the clubhouse end having one of the strangest behind-the-goal configurations you'll come across) at the recently proposed location for New York Road? The former is the correct answer – indeed, Macleod (M) told Jon Adams he wouldn't watch Maidenhead United at a version of the Hop Oast Stadium Fusion Aviation Community Stadium, situated between the big mound of earth and the dump at "beautiful Braywick Park" … if it ever came to that (which hopefully it won't)

Half-time report: my sustenance (chilli and chips) was tasty but expensive; L.B. seemed pleased to receive a belated Christmas gift of some of the original (?) MUFC stickers; the home side scored their penalty – harshly awarded according to Berkshire Hornet, a QPR fan from Horsham who has lived in Tilehurst since 2011 – whereas Liam Dulson saw his saved (by a goalkeeper clad in bright pink whose physique reminded me of Scott Tarr #IYKYK)

A wolf supermoon was visible through the trees to our left during the second half as we watched a carbon copy of our 2–1 win over the same opponents at York Road on the August Bank Holiday (when I was sunning myself in Crete) – once more the Magpies were a side transformed after the break, with Umerah again a difference-maker off the bench and Josh Popoola crossing for a headed goal, although this time the latter's fancy footwork created an equaliser (for MWH at the back post) rather than the winner; that glory went to midfield maestro Matt Robinson, with a worldie from distance as time expired – perhaps even better than Popoola's recent wonder goal at Humpton! :-O

Mousehole Simon – a lapsed Tooting & Mitcham fan from Cheam who now travels twice a month (!) to cheer on the Seagulls at home matches in Cornwall (after watching a YouTube documentary about the club during lockdown) – sat with us during the first half of Bournemouth vs Arsenal on TV in the Horsham bar (its walls decorated with framed shirts, programmes, photos of the Men's and Women's teams, etc. – MUFC take note), before we got the bus back into town and headed to the Anchor Hotel (Greene King, but it had the football on; Declan Rice's brace making up for the substandard beers) and the Anchor Tap for a second time (top boozer) en route to the station; conversation topics with Phil W. on the return journey included best Pixies songs (not Monkey Gone to Heaven seemed to be the only consensus), whether Maya Jama supports Bristol Rovers (answer: yes ... at least to some extent), and 'favourite National League away days' – that's days, not results or performances, hence our 4–0 defeat at Gateshead in fancy dress got a mention … as will Horsham, in the future, when 'favourite 2025/26 away days' crops up (memorable as it was for the right reasons, this time, unlike in 2007)