"As for Maidenhead, the conga (which was amusing) aside, some of the oddest chants I've ever heard at a football match" ~ localboy86, Apr. 2015

Wednesday, 11 February 2026

Away Day (sort of) Diary: Tonbridge Angels 0-1 Maidenhead United (10/02/26)


The Magpies had played at Longmead Stadium before, the first game a 3-2 FA Trophy defeat in November 2002 (featuring, so I've been told, a legendary pre-match pub crawl with the highly unusual presence of Macleod [C]'s dad and a virtuoso performance in a losing effort from ex-Chelsea forward Mark Nicholls), but I was studying (ahem) in Bristol at the time, while THE DRAX YEARS explains my absence from the other visits (three in the Conference South between 2011 and 2014, the most recent a 4-2 win with Danny Green scoring all our goals), so this was one of five new NLS grounds for me in 2025/26 (hence this diary entry); with Macleod (M) cruising in the Caribbean (alright for some) and Willie T. also unavailable (quelle surprise), I decided to ditch the driving gloves and take the supporters' coach for the first time since our FA Cup defeat at Oxford United

Oik behaviour that brought the club into disrepute, not one but two new signings, and a previous coach driver inadvertently entering the wrong postcode into his Sat Nav ahead of a New Year's Day trip to Solihull Moors in 2018 – much to the annoyance at the time of Simon J., who was celebrating his 40th birthday on Tuesday – were among the talking points on an outward journey that started at 5pm in heavy rain; an accident on the M25 necessitated a detour via Dorking and Reigate, and it wasn't until twenty minutes before kick-off that we arrived at the ground … after first passing the church in Hildenborough where the Coombs were married in 1974!

Nice drop of SALT's Alpacalypse in the Angels Sports Bar, and my cheeseburger – when it finally arrived – was excellent, but the ground was peculiar; two decent covered ends, mind, making it more tolerable than the likes of Totton or Horsham

Better play from MUFC as the first half wore on, perhaps not coincidentally after a change in formation to a back four (following WDH's enforced substitution through injury); chances were at a premium though, with a well-struck but blocked Liam Dulson effort about as good as it got from our perspective

Ryan D. was standing alongside me in the second half, chomping on chips ("tasty"), as a mix-up between David Mantle and JvS preceded a Tonbridge player clipping the outside of our post with a deflected shot; the Magpies then hit the frame of the goal themselves, with a Josh Umerah (!) free kick crashing against the crossbar

I thought the referee's performance was passable (certainly in comparison to some of his colleagues' over the years), but those of a Kentish persuasion – perhaps exasperated by only two home wins all season – would vehemently disagree, judging by some post-match comments on X; in fairness, it did look – albeit from the other end – as though they should have had a penalty, but Mr Briers from Sussex awarded a free kick on the edge of the box for Matt Robinson's blatant tug on the shirt of ex-Magpie Ricky Korboa

Dulson and Josh Popoola – usually our main/ only attacking threats – both had off nights, and the team wearing red became increasingly disjointed, particularly after the withdrawal of Umerah; meanwhile, one of the Tonbridge subs had a dangerous long throw, and the Angels looked more likely to score as the game approached its final stages … indeed, everyone in the ground fully expected JvS' net to bulge in added time, only for the giant Dutchman to repel a weak shot from close range – much to the relief of the travelling horde

Gleeful celebrations shortly afterwards, when – from what was possibly Popoola's first truly decent set-piece delivery of the night – Robinson capped off another standout individual performance by heading home his third winning goal of the season, two of which came post-90 minutes; it was said that the 2022 MOBO Best Grime Act nominee will be back to boss the Magpies midfield next season – great news if true ("Alexa, play Simon & Garfunkel")

Even though Sl*ugh had won their third game in a row and we had to detour again from the M25 (this time past Hampton Court Palace), the mood on the return journey was jovial … as you might expect after a 94th-minute winner; talk turned to Saturday's match at Torquay – with more rain forecast it might get postponed, but if not, it will be interesting to see how the table-toppers react after losing to bottom side Chippenham in a result that, perhaps as much as Maidenhead United sitting only one place outside the play-offs, sums up an unpredictable league of individual quality but collective mediocrity


Tuesday, 6 January 2026

Away Day Diary: Horsham 1-2 Maidenhead United (03/01/26)


Humiliating defeats so unbearable that they come to define an era? Drax had been in charge for more than a year, and had a promotion via the playoffs under his belt, when he presided over one; in contrast, Ryan Peters only replaced Dev as manager about a month ago, so it is far too early to say, but the Magpies' 3–1 home defeat to Sl*ugh on Boxing Day was so excruciatingly awful – more than 2,800 were there as Josh Umerah's goal gave us an early lead against our relegation-threatened local rivals, who then played the entire second half (and scored twice) with ten men, in the first league match at York Road between the sides in exactly 25 years – that the wounds will take some time to heal (if they ever do) ... TBH, if our first game of the new year weren't taking place at a different ground to that infamous FA Cup defeat in 2007 (the Hornets sold Queen Street, their home since 1904, to property developers and moved out in 2008), I'd have found something else to do with my time

Our outward journey was as convoluted as the one to Humpton last month, with changes at Paddington and Oxford Circus en route to catch – with seconds to spare (no thanks to another slow-running GWR 'fast' train) – the 10:35 from Victoria to Portsmouth Harbour; discussion points included the slew of incredible non-league attendances over Christmas (plus 4,946 at Bromley vs Newport on New Year's Day), the fact that Macleod (M) would have had more – and me as many – new grounds to attend if the Magpies had managed to stay in the National League rather than being relegated to a division they last competed in eight years ago (thanks to the National League South 'perma dross'), and belated postponements (with Southend vs Truro still to come!)

Remarkably good pints in the Black JugLongman's Old Man, arguably the best beers of the entire day – kicked off an enjoyable pre-match pub crawl, which continued as follows: Pirie's Bar (where Macleod [M] could only name four of the five U.K. number ones by The Police; Stuart joined us just as we were leaving), the Anchor Tap (decent pints of Surrey Hills' Albury Ruby; our first sighting of some bloke wearing a Mousehole AFC scarf), the Bear (we had walked past a Brook Taverner store with a photo of Remy in its window; J.B., Chris Rad. and C.B. were already in situ), and an aborted visit to Wetherspoons (voted – I was subsequently informed by a steward at the football – the worst in Sussex ... and understandably so, as the inept bar staff encourage single-line queuing despite claiming that they don't!)

Shorter bus ride than we were expecting (the queue at the turnstiles probably lasted longer), which prompted the following hypothetical question: Dartford's impressive ground at an out-of-town-but-reasonably-accessible location like Horsham's (say, Taplow for MUFC), or Horsham's basic ground (with the clubhouse end having one of the strangest behind-the-goal configurations you'll come across) at the recently proposed location for New York Road? The former is the correct answer – indeed, Macleod (M) told Jon Adams he wouldn't watch Maidenhead United at a version of the Hop Oast Stadium Fusion Aviation Community Stadium, situated between the big mound of earth and the dump at "beautiful Braywick Park" … if it ever came to that (which hopefully it won't)

Half-time report: my sustenance (chilli and chips) was tasty but expensive; L.B. seemed pleased to receive a belated Christmas gift of some of the original (?) MUFC stickers; the home side scored their penalty – harshly awarded according to Berkshire Hornet, a QPR fan from Horsham who has lived in Tilehurst since 2011 – whereas Liam Dulson saw his saved (by a goalkeeper clad in bright pink whose physique reminded me of Scott Tarr #IYKYK)

A wolf supermoon was visible through the trees to our left during the second half as we watched a carbon copy of our 2–1 win over the same opponents at York Road on the August Bank Holiday (when I was sunning myself in Crete) – once more the Magpies were a side transformed after the break, with Umerah again a difference-maker off the bench and Josh Popoola crossing for a headed goal, although this time the latter's fancy footwork created an equaliser (for MWH at the back post) rather than the winner; that glory went to midfield maestro Matt Robinson, with a worldie from distance as time expired – perhaps even better than Popoola's recent wonder goal at Humpton! :-O

Mousehole Simon – a lapsed Tooting & Mitcham fan from Cheam who now travels twice a month (!) to cheer on the Seagulls at home matches in Cornwall (after watching a YouTube documentary about the club during lockdown) – sat with us during the first half of Bournemouth vs Arsenal on TV in the Horsham bar (its walls decorated with framed shirts, programmes, photos of the Men's and Women's teams, etc. – MUFC take note), before we got the bus back into town and headed to the Anchor Hotel (Greene King, but it had the football on; Declan Rice's brace making up for the substandard beers) and the Anchor Tap for a second time (top boozer) en route to the station; conversation topics with Phil W. on the return journey included best Pixies songs (not Monkey Gone to Heaven seemed to be the only consensus), whether Maya Jama supports Bristol Rovers (answer: yes ... at least to some extent), and 'favourite National League away days' – that's days, not results or performances, hence our 4–0 defeat at Gateshead in fancy dress got a mention … as will Horsham, in the future, when 'favourite 2025/26 away days' crops up (memorable as it was for the right reasons, this time, unlike in 2007)