"As for Maidenhead, the conga (which was amusing) aside, quite a strange bunch really – some the oddest chants I've ever heard at a football match" ~ localboy86, Amber Planet forum, 26th April 2015

Sunday 3 April 2011

Away Day Diary: 'Mad March'

After a quarter of a game in August, none in September, three in October (including two during one weekend in Hamburg), one in November, one in December (again, in Germany), one in January (two if you count North Leigh B vs Freeland A) and one in February - i.e. just seven games (more or less) in seven months - the fixture list conspired to present us with three games in four weeks during the month of March; my 'spare' Saturday to be spent in various pubs in Clapham, celebrating a mate's birthday. 

This liver and wallet-zapping extravaganza was quickly (and, as it turned out, accurately) termed 'Mad March'. 

Check out the numerous photos (too many to post on here) on the GMOSC Facebook page, and the one of Murdo and me on the GLC Tour Blog!

As it is, summaries of each day below:

Mad March ~ part 1

When ~ Saturday 5th March 2011 

Where ~ Dartford (for Dartford 3-0 Maidenhead United)

Why ~ the chance to round-up a few 'blasts from the past' (Willie, Mick, Jonny Wah Wah) and have a good ol' MUFC sing-song at a new ground (which was very impressive, BTW). Cue fake goal celebrations, a conga when 3-0 down, and all swear words replaced by the word 'ginge' (after Stevie G accused us, on his blog, of chanting 'ginger c**t' at Cinderford, which is a load ginging bullginge).

^^^ Memorable line 1 ~ "Dartford FC, how can I help?" - customer service skills put to good use

^^^ Memorable Line 2 ~ "Is that Grim?!" - random meet up with Wealdstone's finest

^^^ Memorable Line 3 ~ "We should do this more often" - back in the Anchor, a shirtless Willie had clearly enjoyed the day!

What they (Dartford) had to say about our support:

Must mention the Maidenhead Massive, they sang through most of the match, and were still singing after most of us had gone home or left the pitch. As I walked out at their end they were doing a great rendition of " We'll score again, don't know where don't know when. But we know we'll score again some sunny day". Great support lads ~ Lol

watching the Maidenhead fans pretending to score a goal was probably more interesting than watching the first half ~ Levyify

I agree, although very few in number there supporters were good. However as was pointed out to me at the end of the game all but three of their players completely ignored them and went straight down the tunnel, very poor show from their players and management ~ Park Life

Massive credit to the 'Head massive who had clearly ".....drunk more than us, they'd drunk much more than us...."! Was impressed by their flags and HUGE banner ~ DA Mikey

Apart from the result i think their fans enjoyed their day out, about 10 of them were in the Ivy Leaf & the Malt Shovel until around 8pm!! ~ The future's White

That's the spirit!!! ~ Silverado

What they (MUFC Ltd) had to say about our support:


The (only) three players/management who came over to applaud us at the end, incidentally, were Mark Nisbet, Bobby Behzadi and Ashley Nicholls. Fair play to 'em. The others - Kieran Knight, for one, couldn't wait to get off the pitch; I've never seen him run so fast - should hang their hands in shame (although I suspect that they couldn't care less).

Mad March ~ part 2

When ~ Saturday 12th March 2011

Where ~ Goldie Lookin Chain @ Camden Underworld via Ascot United 3-3 Pegasus Juniors

Why ~ we were supposed to see the Chain in Camden the Saturday before Christmas. After Bromley vs MUFC Ltd. But both the game and the gig were postponed due to snow. The gig was rescheduled for the same day that the Yellamen were at home. We'd been planning on going to the Racecourse Ground for some time, not least due to the presence of ex-Magpie Rob 'Rod Hull' Saunders (AKA Heybridge Mirror Thief) and my work colleague Sam Mac in their squad. The stars had aligned.

^^^ Memorable Line 1 ~ "Got any gear" - local skag heads approach us before we've even entered the first pub!

^^^ Memorable Line 2 ~ "What the f**k are you lot doing?!" - Rob Saunders (who would later miss a penalty, above, in Ascot's 3-3 draw) spots us on the sidelines as he prepares to defend a first-half throw-in

^^^ Memorable Line 3 ~ "Football talk is now banned; 50p fine for each and every breach" - my reaction to the news that the Gunners were getting beat at Old Trafford in the FA Cup. The train journey from Ascot to Waterloo cost me £7.50 in fines!

^^^ Memorable Line 4 ~ "He's not in the band" - after the bouncers had cleared everyone, bar me, from the stage - after the gig had ended in a mass stage invasion - the club DJ had to pointedly inform them, via the PA system, that I wasn't actually a member of the GLC!

Mad March ~ part three

When ~ Saturday 19th March 2011

Where ~ Clapham

Why ~ annual all-day (well, all-afternoon at least) drinking session in South London to celebrate the 29th birthday of my good friend: former MUFC Ltd Reserve team player - and everyone's favourite Bognorian-Italian - B. T. Macari.

^^^ Memorable Line 1 ~ "Woking? Not again!" - one of us journeyed more than once between Waterloo and Woking, on the train home to Walton-On-Thames

^^^ Memorable Line 2 ~ "Can you pick me up please?" - one of us ended up on Brentford High Street and had to call the wife for a lift home

^^^ Memorable Line 3 ~ "How much?!" - one of us ended up in Basingstoke and got a rather expensive taxi home, rather than wait for a train to Reading

Mad March ~ part four

When ~ Saturday 26th & Sunday 27th March 2011

Where ~ stay-over in Berwick-upon-Tweed, taking in: Berwick Rangers 1-1 East Stirlingshire (we missed the Shire goal, as we were drinking Bellhaven in the clubhouse, then Berwick equalised at the death, which was rather apt!), as well as several pubs (including the excellent Barrels Ale House), and Bedrocks nightclub.

Why ~ ever since reading Jeff Connor's excellent book 'Pointless' we said that we wanted to see the Shire play. One night in the Anchor, after an MUFC Ltd game, it was mentioned to us - by someone who would know - that Berwick was a decent night out. Berwick Rangers vs East Stirlingshire (rather than, it transpired, Whitley Bay at Poole Town in the FA Vase Semi 1st Leg, or Scotland vs Brazil at the Emirates) was pencilled in as soon as the fixtures came out last summer and booked in early February.

Memorable Line 1 ~ "Technically, Berwick Rangers is a league ground in England" - a comment to fellow MUFC fan and Macleod (M) schoolmate Richard C; on the same London-bound train as us at 06:47, on Saturday morning, en route to watch W@nky Wanderers at Morecambe. His 92nd - and final, or so he thought - English league ground (or league ground in England?!)

^^^ Memorable Line 2 ~ "Nae sing, nae win" - the Shire's Macleod (M) equivalent needlessly rallied the boisterous away following with this repeated, bellowed remark

^^^ Memorable Line 3 ~ "Let's get naked for the Shire" - some (almost) did!

^^^ Memorable Line 4 ~ "Nae bother; the car is fooked, and I can break into the house" - paunchy, bare-chested, inebriated Shire fan's response to our offer, at the end of the match, to help search for his missing car and house keys, which he had presumably lost rolling up and down a grassy bank

^^^ Memorable Line 5 ~ "Community Support Officers are a complete waste of time" - young policeman to us, on Berwick Main St, after we mentioned that we rarely saw proper coppers round our way. His face went as white as a sheet when I told him that we were undercover reporters from the News of the World and were recording the conversation, prompting both him and his more experienced colleague to run away from us!

^^^ Memorable Line 6 ~ "How is life on the run?" - question to two bouncers on the door of Berwick nightclub Bedrocks - complete with carpeted floors and £2-a-drink pricing policy - who, it transpired, were from Brighton and Harrow respectively. They both laughed ... albeit, I thought, rather nervously! ;-)

Anyway, what next?

Well, no booze 'til Binfield now ...


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